Kids rule: Buzz was wondering when the Liberty Legal Institute, that Dallas-based network of lawyers who labor on behalf of religious freedom and parental rights, would weigh in on Texas authorities’ raid on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints compound in West Texas. How could Liberty…
Thanks a bunch, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. You’ve taken a perfectly good childhood memory—Gene Wilder sing “Pure Imagination” in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory—and replaced it with your own mocking, nefarious version from the violent South Park episode “Imaginationland.” Seriously, thank you. That saccharine Wilder number never really…
Logo jam: At last…at last we can see some real progress in the Trinity River Project, that ambitious $800 kabillion—give or take a few kabillion—plan, approved in 1937, to turn the Trinity near downtown from a muddy, levee-lined ditch into a muddy, levee-lined ditch bordered by a toll road. So…
Why is Greg Abbott smiling? Something to do with watching an old lady bathe, mebbe? If you’re old, a minority and a Democrat who loves your country enough to vote regularly, you should draw the blinds when you take a bath, ’cause Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and his boys…
Simulated bowling on a videogame console strikes us as something similar to drinking non-alcoholic beer. What’s the point? You’re still bowling, only you don’t get any exercise (at least you don’t have to wear rented shoes ). At the Tipperary Inn’s Wii Bowling Leagues you can get plenty of Guinness,…
You say you want to experience the Renaissance? Fine, try this: Stop bathing for a few months, get yourself some body lice, cut off your nose to simulate syphilis, kill off a couple of your kids with the plague, burn your sister as a witch and dig a ditch in…
Shoe doesn’t fit: More than a decade has passed since Buzz visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., so we remember little about the exhibits there. One image remains firmly embedded, however: a large pile of worn shoes taken from death camp victims. That pile seemed especially poignant, it’s hominess…
Never have kids: It should probably be a warning for anyone wanting to enter the field of family and divorce law that the story told to prove King Solomon’s wisdom involved a family dispute. You gotta be super-wise to wade into those mares’ nests. Solomon had a tricky dispute over…
Albatross necklace: So what was the late political commentator Rufus Shaw talking about when, in the weeks before his suicide, he wrote a blog post bemoaning what he called “the purveyors of hate and personal destruction” in the community? Here’s one possible example: Halice Furtado was executive principal of Redirections…
Dear Dad: Listen, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, since you’ve been dead the past 10 years, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor and PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD. See, I have to tell people about The Moonlady Fest: A Celebration of…
Must…not…make…Brokeback Mountain…joke. Listen, Dallas Arboretum: You have one the coolest places in the city. Your annual Dallas Blooms festival, now in its 24th year and continuing through April 13, is a truly amazing event. Crowds flock to see a breathtaking array of more than 400,000 blooming bulbs on 66 acres,…
Workin’ for a livin’: Buzz caught excerpts from a Hillary Clinton speech to Ohioans this week in which she was all charged up about helpin’ workin’ folk. She talked just like that because, you know, hourly factory workers are incapable of pronouncing a hard “G,” a fact she no doubt…
Hey, Neil Sperry, Texas horticulture guy, do you have an evil twin brother? Maybe, in producing your annual All Texas Garden Show, coming Friday through Sunday to the Arlington Convention Center, you’ve run across some shady types? I don’t mean a tree here. I need a plant hit man. Oh,…
German engineering: Like many, Buzz is confused by the Democratic Party’s process for selecting a presidential candidate. You’d think it would be simple—voters vote, votes are counted, whoever gets the most, wins—but we’re talking Democrats here, so things are not that straightforward. We tried to read the original blueprint for…
I was set to rip on people who might want to attend this weekend’s North American Reptile Breeders Conference and Trade Show at the Arlington Convention Center. Seriously, who wants a rattlesnake or lizard for a pet? People with intimacy issues? Or how about this slogan: “You’ve made a fortune…
There are worse things than being trapped in a house surrounded by hungry zombies. For instance, you could be a black man in that situation, which almost guarantees your spot on a zombie buffet. Dunno why. Just seems to work out that way. Should you find yourself surrounded by gray-skinned,…
Priorities, priorities: Man, Buzz needs a vacation. Here we are about to tell you that the Collin County District Attorney’s Office is preparing to start requiring all persons accepting felony plea bargains to provide DNA samples, and our lefty knee isn’t even twitching, let alone jerking. We must be tired…
Some people like zoos. They enjoy seeing the lions and tigers and zebras. Others don’t. They see the cages and feel sad for the proud animals taken far from their native wild and humbled. This really has nothing to do with the O’Reilly Auto Parts Autorama at Dallas Market Hall,…
Making book: As a young senator, John F. Kennedy wrote Profiles in Courage, about various courageous characters who had served in the Senate. Buzz hasn’t read it, but we understand it’s a “classic” in the political genre, meaning it’s one of those books everyone has heard of but no one…
Unnatural selection: As a general rule, Buzz tries to stay away from the evolution vs. creationism debate. We also try to avoid getting into heated talks with people on buses who are convinced aliens are beaming messages through their fillings, and for much the same reason. If you sincerely believe…
Wusses: We suppose we should be grateful. Since Mayor Tom Leppert and the new host of city council members came on board last summer, things have been so civil at City Hall. No weekly blow-ups at the council chambers. No Mayor Laura Miller vs. everyone else. With one notable exception—how…
Untouchable Hodge: Well, crap. Gray January is upon us. We’ve said goodbye to pro football in Dallas, and Hollywood’s writers are still striking, so a bleak horizon stretches ahead. What’s left to entertain us? Oh, you know the answer. Does Buzz really have to say it? Fine, we will: It’s…
