F Off, Finley

In case you haven’t heard the ridiculous news yet, the Mavs have taken a serious blow to their lineup for tomorrow night’s playoff game against the Spurs. Starting guard Jason Terry has received a one-game suspension for “punching San Antonio’s Michael Finley” during last night’s game. Really? Watch this (Windows…

Taking Up Collection

Do the following words mean anything to you? The Arbiter, Master Chief, Cortana, Elites, Brutes and Spartans (not the naked Greek kind). No? Then turn the page, pal. You’re obviously a PS2 fan or maybe even a Gamecube player. You Halo 2 fans, however, should know this: The Universal Collectibles…

Blathersphere

Blathersphere: Grab that stickin’ fork, cue the fat lady: The Dallas Morning News’ Metro columnists are now bloggers. The blogging fad is just about done. By the time conservative, creaky, daily newspapers jump on a trend, the trend usually has passed its expiration date. Those cavalry troops that charged machine…

Show Up

I’m gonna resist the urge to focus on the name Metrognome (I’ll just let hope live on that tonight I’ll discover a garden statue in savvy attire serving as the art collective’s mascot), and instead unleash a serious urging to attend the Shoplifting show tonight in Fort Worth. The quartet…

And In Other News

For those who have had their fill of strange preachers or who plan to wait to hear directly from God before accepting Doyle Davidson as a latter-day prophet (good plan), the dead-tree edition of the Dallas Observer has a few other tidbits that might interest you. Such as: Jim Schutze…

Nein!!

So how is it exactly that a baseball team can blow a 9-0 lead? Marijuana muffins, you say? Dude, I’ve got one even better. Texas Rangers. Nuff said. Well, actually, let’s say a little more because last night at Yankee Stadium your Rangers made history. Texas led the Yankees 9-0…

Running With the Devil

On newsstands this morning in the Dallas Observer: Glenna Whitley reports on Doyle Davidson’s bizarre world of demons and doom in her cover story on the Dena Schlosser case. Davidson, you might remember, was pastor of the Plano church Schlosser attended before she cut off the arms of her 11-month-old…

Grills to Good Use

It’s so cute when girls try to do boy things. Like grilling, for example. In fact, it’s so cute when girls try to grill, that TheOtherWhiteMeat.com has created a super-cute pink and purple section of its Web site, just for girls who like to grill. The pork people are, cutely,…

Where’s the Quo?

At the risk of feeling dirty–and not in a good way–I’m going to part company from Jim Schutze and Morning News columnist Sherry Jacobson and, ick, take the mayor’s side in the whole Dave Levinthal/AMR stock tempest. Jacobson this morning picked up on a point made by Schutze on Unfair…

Blonde Jokes

Reason No. 913 on our list of reasons to never have children: We will never have to attend anything that “promises lots of fun and laughter for both the young and the young at heart.” This promise comes from Duncanville Community Theatre, which is staging Tom McCabe’s Goldilocks and the…

Barbecued Tuna

You’ve done this: You’ve started telling a hilarious anecdote, only to see your listener stare blankly, unsmiling. “I guess you had to be there,” you say, flailing for dignity. In the case of the ladies from Tuna, Texas, the opposite may be true. Maybe you had to not be there…

Mother’s Grub

At my house, Mother’s Day lunch means one of two things: Cracker Barrel if we’re “lucky”; Luby’s (shudder) if we’re not. The mom-in-law is getting on in years, so the choice of food runs from bland fare in a country kitschy setting to really, really bland fare in a cafeteria…

Line in the sand

Line in the sand: Thousands dead on September 11 weren’t enough to move Congress to secure the nation’s borders. A dangerous trek across miles of desert isn’t enough to stop impoverished illegal immigrants heading northward in search of jobs. What ever will we do about illegal immigration? Hey, Buzz knows!…

Maple Terror

Last week I brought you breaking news about Maple Terrace, the boho-turned-yuppie-sellout apartment building at Maple Avenue and Wolf Street. A bunch of old tenants moved out in 2001 when the building changed hands and plans were laid for luxury condos, but a few decided to give the place a…

…We Salute You

These kids today. Back in the day, when a child wanted to learn about sex, there was the street corner, maybe a copy of Dad’s Penthouse. Now they teach sex in school, dadgummit. Drugs? You can get anything you want…in school. We had to go to skeezy guys at bowling…

Three Times the Pain

Chances are, if you’re the sort of person who enjoys enduring pain, fatigue and shin splints to the point of vomiting—that is, you’re a triathlete—you already know that the 15th Annual Tom Landry Triathlon begins at 7 a.m. Sunday at the Baylor Tom Landry Fitness Center, 411 N. Washington. You’ve…

Aim right

Aim right: It wasn’t much of a demonstration–those five Baylor University students holding signs on a rainy Friday outside the Abbott Laboratories offices in Irving, demanding cheaper AIDS drugs for poor nations. Still, it’s something. But is it the right thing? The demonstrators are part of the Student Global AIDS…

Like Father, Like Son

If pedigree is any indication, the Frisco RoughRiders baseball franchise is headed in the right direction. The Texas Rangers Double-A affiliate has promoted Scott Sonju to the prestigious role of president/general manager. If that name rings a wind chime in your vast noggin, it should. Scott’s dad is Norm Sonju,…

TGIFF

Until our corporate overseers pony up the cash for an elaborate, HD-ready, multi-angle camera rig, we’ll have to concede defeat to the handheld camcorders at Texas Gigs. The latest in the site’s ongoing video podcast series highlights this weekend’s Final Friday concert at the Gypsy Tea Room. Once again, the…

Damn Commies

On Friday, we told you about how the People’s Republic of Bee County passed a resolution asking their citizens to boycott Exxon/Mobil until gas prices tumbled to $1.30 a gallon. Our take was that this was a futile act of civil disobedience since even a widespread, grassroots movement to shun…

Sugar Rays

Zoos can be disturbing places. We’ve all seen it: the big cats in their enclosures pacing back and forth, retracing their steps over and over as they slowly go insane from the frustration of captivity. That’s why I was so happy with my first visit to the Dallas World Aquarium…

New Cowboys Voice

You heard it here first: Charlie Waters just accepted the job to be the analyst on Dallas Cowboys radio broadcasts for next season. Waters, an All-Pro safety with the team in the 1970s, will be Brad Sham’s partner on KTCK 1310 AM The Ticket beginning with this summer’s pre-season schedule…