Growth Industries

Like many of you, Buzz has been keeping close watch on our 401(k) investment account in this troubled economy, and we’re happy to report that despite recent setbacks, we’re still on track for a comfortable retirement. At age 135. Barring any unforeseen changes at the Dallas Observer, or a winning…

Off the Block

Ah, eBay, is there any sort of assorted crap that can’t be purchased at the online auction house/flea market? Perhaps. Buzz went looking for our misspent youth there, but a search turned up only a book and a couple of CDs with those words in the titles; apparently, the days…

Worth a Thousand Words

Prior restraint are words used to describe the actions of a judge or some other government official who tries to tell the press that it’s forbidden to print or broadcast something. They’re also fightin’ words for people in the news biz in America, where we are pretty much free to…

Can It

To avoid any unnecessary angry letters that even vaguely anti-hunting comments tend to stir up in this state, allow us to say this up front: Buzz doesn’t hunt. We find it distasteful. Whoa there, big fella, put down that pen. We said distasteful–as in not our cup of tea–not immoral…

Mail Call

Don’t you just hate it when columnists get lazy or run short on ideas and resort to answering their mail in print? You do? Well, turn the page, bub, ’cause this week, Buzz gots a letter. Joan Covici of Dallas didn’t appreciate our item last week where we purported to…

Fatal Distraction

So Mayor Laura Miller, The Dallas Morning News reports, was vacationing in La Jolla, California, last week, just blocks from Tom Hicks’ “summer retreat” offices. Miller wanted to take the opportunity to discuss renegotiating the no-compete clause that the city’s Reunion Arena has with Hicks’ and Mark Cuban’s Center Operating…

To Whom It May Concern

Through no fault of our own, it seems that Buzz has become one of the countless hated e-mail spammers clogging the Internet. This would be a cause for shame for our dear old mother, but let’s be honest: Maternal pride hasn’t exactly been swelling her bosom since we chose newspapering…

Buc-bucaw

Fort Worth Weekly reporter Betty Brink has racked up a respectable number of journalism awards for the paper, most recently being named Print Journalist of the Year in the under-100,000-circulation category by the Houston Press Club. She’s been a stalwart for the weekly, and some of her excellent work has…

Winning Streak

After racking up an impressive record of about a dozen wins and no losses defending low-level Dallas porn-store clerks accused of violating anti-obscenity laws, lawyer Andrew Chatham’s winning streak is tapering off. That’s not because he’s losing, mind you, but because the cases appear to be drying up. That’s called…

Next Time, Phone

Being somewhat of a public forum, Buzz receives something on the order of 11,000 e-mails a day, conservatively speaking. We choose not to share these with you, since most are for porn, pleas to help Nigeria transfer $25 million in government money, offers to increase our ejaculate by 300 percent…

Run, Betty, Run

Betty Culbreath-Lister insists there’s no hidden agenda, no friend she’s supposed to snag a job for and that she “ain’t mad at nobody.” But the outspoken Dallas County official’s decision to run for the Dallas school board against longtime trustee Hollis Brashear has caught some by surprise. She may not…

Get Offa Our Cloud

Imagine this: A local purveyor of Serious Journalism begins publishing ads of a sexually and commercially suspect nature, offering “private shows” and “private pleasures” and featuring photos of women with provocative “hey, sailor” grins. And it’s not us. Well, it’s not just us. It’s The Dallas Morning News, too. Shocked,…

Clash of Symbols

Buzz is feeling a bit out of touch lately, having spent the better part of the past two weeks cowering under a blanket. This was prompted by the many letters we received after our recent cover story “Open Season” about the growing number of incidents of South Texas homeowners shooting…

Soaked Rich

So you say your double-wide manufactured home has been socked with a higher property tax appraisal this year, meaning heftier taxes for you and more meals of Hamburger Helper, sans hamburger. (That would be “Helper.”) Oh, quit whining, you big baby. It could be worse. You could be rich. Turns…

Trading Up?

Buzz loves Movie Trading Company for lots of reasons: the rent-before-you-buy policy, racks full of cheap secondhand DVDs and videos (a lot of which are hard to find), its lenient rental policy, the fact it’s a local chain with a familiar and friendly neighborhood vibe. OK, so mostly we like…

Slice of Life

During nearly 20 years in the news business, Buzz has had to ask otherwise innocent people all sorts of nosy personal questions. But never, until this week, had we ever asked anyone the following: “So, how are your nuts?” This might have been embarrassing, except that the person we asked…

Judge Not

The Dallas Observer spent the better part of a week calling state District Judge Margaret Keliher to ask her why she hadn’t resigned from the bench five months ago when she started running for county judge. The state “judicial canon of ethics” says judges have to quit if they run…

Different Seasons

It’s cliché: Women at midlife suffer hot flashes; men at midlife buy hot cars. So what happens to a 53-year-old butch lesbian grandmother entering menopause? In playwright Peggy Shaw’s case, she puts on a double-breasted suit and suspenders, passes for a 35-year-old man and lets loose the tiger within. The…

How To

Why does downtown Fort Worth suck way less than Dallas? Still the investigative reporter at heart, Mayor Laura Miller wagon-trained west last week to find out, and Buzz suspects she may not have liked at least part of the answer: because the people there are willing to pay for it…

These Old Houses

For some reason we can’t quite fathom, someone once gave us a gift subscription to Southern Living, the magazine devoted to helping its readers live more elegant “Southern” lives. Maybe they were trying to tell us something. In addition to recipes for mint juleps (we drink beer) and many creative…

Sis-boom-bah

Buzz, admittedly, is at times a bit naïve–naïve in this case being a polite word for “dumb.” For instance, we naïvely thought that to be a cheerleader required only that you support the home team, know how to say “rah!” and don’t look like Buzz. We were wrong about that…

It Lives

In one of the greatest movies ever made, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur confronts the enchanted Black Knight, an indestructible character who challenges Arthur to a sword fight. Arthur begins lopping off the knight’s limbs one at a time, but he refuses to quit. Finally reduced to…