Out on Lake Ray Hubbard’s Party Cove last weekend there was a guy on a boat. A big, fat guy. With a goofy hat. And a huge gut. Dancing. Disturbing as it was, the dude had a couple bikini-clad hotties shaking it alongside him. Me and a buddy commenced this debate:…
Let’s don’t talk too loud – might wake them up – but your Texas Rangers are suddenly 5.5 games ahead of the Anaheim Angels in the American League West. Another good start by Colby Lewis, another pivotal hit by Michael Young, another save by Neftali Feliz and, presto, a 4-3 win over…
In 1977, the Texas Rangers employed four managers. In one week. In 1978, pitcher Roger Moret fell into a catatonic trance in front of his locker while holding a shower shoe. In 1979, reliever Jim Kern snatched a book from a newspaper reporter and, in a successful attempt to spoil…
While a federal trustee yesterday suggested that the Texas Rangers’ own law firm should be ejected, Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig said – in so many words – what we’ve all been muttering for months: F*&^%$#$@ Tom Hicks! During a conference call with baseball reporters to address next week’s…
Your Dallas Mavericks are pondering an O’Neal, but not that one. Team source told me last night that the Mavs acquiring former Superman center Shaquille O’Neal is “a long longshot,” but that Miami Heat center Jermaine O’Neal is a real possibility. Honestly, neither name gets me too excited. Ten years ago? Maybe…
The Texas Rangers – and the fan who tumbled over the railing and fell 30 feet into a lower deck while chasing a foul ball – were lucky last night at the ballpark in Arlington. As Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta said, “A fatality could have happened there.” The adult…
It was a far-fetched doomsday scenario. A pointed image intended to conjure just how weird it was going to be around here without Mike Modano. But I never expected it to become, gulp, reality? Mike Modano, Detroit Red Wings? Criiiiiiiiiiinge. On June 22 that was my wild-ass speculation. On July…
Through the years, I’ve attempted to defend Dallas Mavericks’ star Dirk Nowitzki. Praised him in columns. Put him atop underrated lists. The guy has done everything except win a championship. Points. MVPs. Guts. You name it. Now he’s gone an unprecedented step further. Name me another superstar that’s played in our…
While June begat nothing but good news and great play for your Texas Rangers, July so far is about as much fun as a Roman Candle to the belly button. They were thumped by the lowly Cleveland Indians Monday night and have now lost five of seven after that 13-1 stretch. Out of…
Maybe you find Martellus Bennett’s video offensive. Or not. He’s dancing around in a fake beard exclaiming to be Osama Bin Laden and saying “I’m here … making bombs.” If you lost a loved one in 9/11 or in the armed forces overseas in pursuit of Bin Laden and his…
Happy Birthday, America. Like tonight’s July 5th fireworks show in Dallas, it’s better late than never. Right? Our country turned the ripe old age of 234 on Sunday. Between burgers and beers and bikinis, I tried to spend some time remembering how friggin’ fortunate we are to have…
[jump] *Keep an eye on SMU football. Something’s not right. I know head coach June Jones supposedly signed a lucrative contract extension last November, but he can’t be happy at all by these players being dismissed from his team and recruits not being accepted into school because of SMU’s ridiculously…
I was always jealous of Hank Haney’s gig. Being Tiger Woods’ swing coach, I surmised, was about as difficult as being Megan Fox’s beauty consultant. Boy was I wrong. The Dallas-based golf guru rips Woods in a Golf Digest article, saying of his relationship with Tiger: “It didn’t get dysfunctional; it always…
Some ignoamus loyal reader on this here blog recently theorized that the Dallas Mavericks sans Dirk Nowitzki could still make the NBA Western Conference playoffs. It’s July 1, not April 1. Quit your kidding. Because the Mavs realize that Dirk is priority No. 1 this summer – and perhaps vice-versa…
Your Texas Rangers enter July with the best record in baseball. And a new starting catcher. While rookie pitcher Omar Beltre surrendered a homer to the first Major League hitter he faced and lasted only four innings, Vladimir Guerrero turned a game, a series – and perhaps a season – with…
When you awoke Thursday morning, something probably felt weird. It should’ve, because—barring a last-minute contract agreement—for the first time since the spring of 1998 Dirk Nowitzki isn’t a Dallas Maverick. After a 12-year career, the greatest player in the history of the franchise is a free agent. As of Wednesday…
For the first time in a long time, Darren Oliver sucked. For the first time since June 11, the Texas Rangers lost a road game. Not to panic, but a lot of things that have gone right lately for Texas went wrong in Tuesday night’s 6-5 loss to the Angels…
The Dallas Mavericks will re-sign Dirk Nowitzki. General manager Donnie Nelson is flying to Germany as we speak to make sure of it, with a plan to be on Dirk’s doorstep at 11:01 tonight when NBA free agency commences. But a couple of developments have me thinking that might be…
Still trying to wrap my tiny, admittedly perverted sports brain around the Dallas Stars without Mike Modano. Or, even weirder, Modano in another team’s sweater. He is now – and perhaps forever – undoubtedbly, undeniably, unequivocally the face of the franchise. Right? Unless, of course, you want that honor to go…
The Texas Rangers lead the Anaheim Angels by 4.5 games. They also owe them a biiiiiiig thank you. Where would the Rangers be without former Angels Darren Oliver and Vladimir Guerrero? Tonight in California the Rangers try to validate their unprecedented hot start in a three-game series against the team…
Strangely successful season for your Rangers so far. In spring training manager Ron Washington admitted to using cocaine. Their catching tandem is Matt Treanor-Max Ramirez, instead of the planned Jarrod Saltalamacchia-Taylor Teagarden. Chris Davis is gone, and forgotten? Their elite closer (Neftali Feliz) was auditioned as a starter back in…
Will Mike Modano play hockey next season? Maybe. Will he play as a Dallas Star? Nope. It’s official, the Stars no longer want the long-time face of their franchise. As predicted, this is sad…
