Pacman = Game Over

Been a long time since I came to you with good Cowboys’ news, but I just received this email from the team:    The Dallas Cowboys announced the release of cornerback Adam Jones today. The transaction will be made official on February 9th which is the first day that NFL…

The Master Cleanser: Day 3

Status: Green Weight: 165.8 (-5.3) Mood: Sad Stagnant Skeptical Surprised It’s weird about cravings. I’m quickly learning on this diet that it’s not your body that craves food, it’s your mind. With the nutrients from the lemons and syrup, my body – somehow – is fine. Energetic even. I’m sleeping…

Dallas’ Only Daily: The Incredible Shrinking Newspaper

Once upon a time, ours was a three sports-page town. There were enough readers – enough advertisers – for the Dallas Morning News, Dallas Times Herald and Fort Worth Star-Telegram to not only survive, but thrive. Shoot, one of my first jobs at the FWS-T in the late ’80s was to…

Is Tony Romo Better Than Kurt Warner?

Arizona Cardinals’ geezer quarterback Kurt Warner won a playoff game last Saturday. He’ll start for the NFC in the Pro Bowl. But he also wears gloves. On both hands. Even when he plays indoors. Oh yeah, he’s also a religious nut who draws a really crappy God/Jesus/Homeless Guy. (Props to Mike Fisher over at…

PPMs: Your 1st-Grader Now Controls Dallas Radio Advertising Dollars

Way back in Two Thousand and Eight I alerted you that radical radio ratings changes were on the horizon. Well, they’re heeere. As of Dec. 31, the data from Arbitron’s new Portable People Meters is certified as legit radio currency in Dallas-Fort Worth. Diaries have officially gone the way of the…

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon … Her

Sure University of Texas quarterback Colt McCoy had to settle for the Heisman Trophy runner-up. Sure his Longhorns – despite last night’s thrilling Fiesta Bowl victory – are getting screwed out of a possible National Championship. And sure, as one of my alcohol-soaked relatives put it over the holidays, “Something…

The Master Cleanser: Day 2

Status: Yellow Weight: 167.8 ( -3.3) Mood: Hungry Horny Horrified Few times in a man’s life he finds himself running around the house, repeatedly gagging and pleading to anyone on his block, “Forget it, I want a dirty colon! I want a dirty colon!!” Try drinking a quart of warm…

The Top 10 Announcers in Dallas Sports History

In retrospect, Ole Miss and Texas Tech are merely above-average college football teams. Their little clash in Dallas last week, however, was called by two of this area’s icons of announcing. Though he’s looked better, it was good to see Pat Summerall working the game on TV. And on radio…

Texas v. Ohio State: The Siesta Bowl

Was watching the Cotton Bowl with some buddies on lower Greenville when Ole Miss sacked Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell for a game-clinching safety. While most of the joint emitted a primal scream, spiked their red-n-black hats, or ordered another mind-numbing shot, one dude sat and calmly declared: “Dudn’t matter.” And you…

Toldja the Cowboys Should’ve Hired Norv Turner

A week into the healing process, how are your wounds? Mine are as raw and nasty as today’s weather. Had lots of Cowboys-related thoughts while examining Dallas’ autopsy and consuming Wild Card Weekend. Like: *Special teams coach Bruce Read was fired. Better late than never, I guess. *Jason Garrett and Ray…

The Master Cleanser: Day 1

Status: Green Weight: 171.1 Mood: Optimistic Committed Apprehensive So, this is it? 2009 rings in and we’re left to deal with no Cowboys, medicore Mavericks and a hockey team void of Brenden Morrow, Sean Avery and post-season potential? Bor-ring. I know, let’s spice things up a bit. With a pinch…

Whitt’s End

*In 2009, I’m going to change. Totally change. I’m going to develop an appreciation for sour cream, reality shows and Brett Favre. I will start tipping 20% to every waitperson because, after all, that’s what I’m supposed to do. I will be understanding of white pickup trucks that tailgate me and…

The Top 10 Most Memorable Dallas Sports Moments of 2008

Before you muffle your “Happy New Year’s” wishes with tired, old criticism, notice I said “Memorable” and not “Best”. Got it? In lieu of Dick Clark, let me start these balls dropping. 10. Byrd Watching. 9. A National (Anthem) Embarrassment. 8. Jivin’ at the Joule. 7. Morrow’s First/ Avery’s Sloppy Seconds…

2008 in Memoriam: Your Top 10 Most Popular Sports Items of the Year

In keeping with our “Best of … ” programming this week, I’ll provide the most memorable Metroplex sports moments of 2008 on Wednesday. Until then, a look back at what you guys clicked on/commented on the most in the past year. The Sportatorium’s version of The People’s Choice Awards, if you will…

The 2008 Dallas Cowboys: Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.

If it’s good enough for Kidd Kraddick and Casey Kasem, then a vacation week laced with “Best of …” programming is good enough for my lil’ corner of the blogosphere. Left to digest how the pre-season Super Bowl favorites missed the playoffs and how the group of Cowboy cast-offs in Miami…

Eagles 44, Cowgirls 6

Shittingly. Fittingly. The most disappointing season in Cowboys’ history ends with THE most embarrassing loss in Cowboys’ history. Favored to make it to the Super Bowl, the Cowboys finish 9-7 and miss the playoffs. In a do-or-don’t game, the Cowboys absolutely pussed out and were peed on in a 44-6…

Whitt’s End

*I seem to be fresh out of cash, but I’ll betcha some leftover Christmas fruitcake that the Cowboys don’t win in Philly Sunday. A team that leads the league in penalties, can’t get in sync on something as simple as the center-quarterback snap, and allows the longest back-to-back running plays…

Texas Stadium Deserved a Fonder Farewell Than This

Standing in the world’s most famous sports tunnel last Saturday night, the symbolism smacked me like the arctic north wind howling up from Texas Stadium’s frigid field. In a chaotic clash of eras—smack dab in the middle of the Astroturf-lined walkway where championships were celebrated and legends were born—the present…