United 93–which uses the hijacking of one plane on September 11, 2001, to tell the story of what happened to all four aircraft seized that morning–may be the most wrenching, profound and perfectly made movie nobody wants to see. There is no reason to think that multiplex hordes anxiously await…
The Darwinian theory that schlocksploitation must tighten its twist of the nuts with each new release will be tested strenuously for years–or at least several weeks–by Hard Candy. A pointedly s(l)ick cross between Oleanna and I Spit on Your Grave, thrown like raw meat to Lions Gate for $4 million…
Every year, when ESPN broadcasts the Scripps National Spelling Bee, a tiny flutter of hope rises in anyone who cherishes the life of the mind. Spelling is a sport? Sweet Jesus! For the duration of the competition, the brainy kid who gets his glasses stomped by knuckle-draggers on the playground…
Miss Great Plains, Bonnie Louise Cutlett, looks as shaky as a lamb headed for slaughter. She steps forward during the “talent” round of the make-believe beauty competition called Pageant, now onstage at the Uptown Players, and shyly declaims her painfully original poem: “I am a handful of dirt! When you…
Aeon Flux (Paramount) Many things about this surreal sci-fi flick defy explanation, but nothing more so than the mystery of how it got made in the first place. On paper, it’s an archetypal setup for a bomb: a mostly forgotten cartoon, notable for its visual style and incomprehensibility, revived as…
Boys are oiling their mitts, men have started playing hooky, and Dick Cheney just one-hopped it like a pussy. Yes, baseball season is in full swing, and our dip-juice cup runneth over. Normally, this is cause for heavy titillation — perhaps a strong lather or a well-intentioned fistfight. But 2006…
Casanova (Disney) Dr. Dolittle 3 (Fox) Elevator to the Gallows (Criterion) 50 Greatest Kid Concoctions (Time Life) Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (Sony) The Heirloom (Tartan) Inspector Gadget: 4-Disc Set (Shout Factory) The Intruder (Fox Lorber) Magic (Dark Sky) Match Point (DreamWorks) The Passenger (Sony) The Patriot: Extended Cut (Sony)…
You might have seen comedian George Lopez on his hit ABC sitcom (the cleverly titled George Lopez) or in the Robert Rodriguez film The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D. You might have also caught him on the stand during last year’s infamous Michael Jackson trial. You see, Mr. Lopez…
If I ever need to find something in Lakewood, I automatically factor in 15 minutes for getting lost. Somehow, Greenville Avenue is Munger Street, Junius Street does this weird end-then-start-again-five-feet-north thing and Abrams starts veering off into Neverland. A mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in an oh-my-god-these-houses-are-gorgeous. The best…
Let me tell you what a tasteless place the Dallas Observer is. See, some of the staff was talking about the American Baby Faire coming to Dallas Market Hall this Saturday and Sunday, and one sick, sick man, whom we won’t disgrace by naming (Noah Bailey), said, “Babies on a…
Sometimes this job’s so easy the stories write themselves. Or, in this case, they’re written by other people, like bluesman Willie Dixon. To wit: Would someone please inform automatic Slim, razor-toting Jim, butcher knife-toting Annie and the rest of the gang that Arts Fifth Avenue in Fort Worth intends to…
When I got my first guitar at age 12, my dad had one question and one question only for me: “When do you learn to play ‘Margaritaville’?” Horrified at the thought of playing anything other than Jewel songs on the instrument, I pushed all thoughts of Jimmy Buffett to the…
In English-speaking culture, we’ve long embraced such classic works as The Crucible, The Grapes of Wrath and Weekend at Bernie’s II. But perhaps the most well-known classic is the story of star-cross’d lovers Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, whose plight has been translated into such diverse renditions as the New…
For something as lighthearted as a comics page, I sure take it seriously. Point to any strip and I’ll rattle off an opinion about it—from the generic, unfunny Curtis to the off-center semi-insanity of Pearls Before Swine, I know ’em all a little too well (and don’t even get me…
Do you cringe when SVU’s Detective Elliot Stabler picks up evidence without gloves on? Is Dr. Michael Baden a personal hero? Do you find autopsy findings and evidence-gathering intriguing, as opposed to nauseating? Yeah, me too. The field of forensics, medical examination and criminology have long since taken over my…
Before talkies, there were, uh, “silenties.” Check out the early days of cinema—Thursday, see two Harold Lloyd movies, Number, Please? (1920) and Safety Last (1923), with discussion by Rick Worland, chair of SMU’s Cinema-TV department. On Friday, Buster Keaton’s One Week(1921) and The General (1927) are followed by comments from…
Has your love of IKEA abated yet? You haven’t been there in a couple of weeks, but that could just be because your only friend with a truck has had quite enough of your shopping shenanigans. Really, how many 50-cent bowls does one person need? (I have 12, just so…
A few days ago, I received an e-mail extolling the virtues of the banana. Hangovers, heartburn, woman troubles, you name it—it appears as though the banana is seriously, as Chiquita offers, “the world’s perfect food.” No one had to tell me twice; I find the banana to be an exceptionally…
The promo photo for Zero, a one-man play starring Danny O’Connor, features two shots of the actor in a strange illustrated environment. If Morgan Spurlock followed some paw prints to the Mad Dog 20/20 display at Centennial on an episode of Blue’s Clues, it might end up looking something like…
There’s a lot of art that goes through the Kimbell (traveling exhibitions and whatnot) which forces the staff to cram a lot of the great stuff the museum owns—called the permanent collection—into the side room or basement or wherever it is they keep the art when it’s not on display…
When we hear about art that comes from trash or lack of sleep, we don’t know whether to be intrigued or worried. And if we, like some of the artists in 7 at the 6 (now at the Art Six Coffeehouse), designed jewelry based on self-torture and different stages of…
We are not totally crazy. Please keep this in mind when we tell you that Cinco de Mayo celebrates an actual battle (La Batalla de Puebla in 1862, ending the Mexican Imperial Monarchy). Apparently, some folks seem to think the day is about drinking heavily—sometimes until one vomits directly into…
