Can’t think of anything more contrary to the Christmas spirit than a Cowboys-Eagles game. The Eagles have the nastiest batch of fans in the NFL—these are the charitable folks who cheered when Michael Irvin sustained a career-ending spinal injury and was lying motionless on the field—plus there’s serious bad blood…
As of this writing, the lowly Charlotte Bobcats are sitting near the bottom of the NBA’s Eastern Conference standings, so it’s unlikely they’ll put up much of a fight when they face the Mavericks this Tuesday at the American Airlines Center (the last time they faced the Mavs, Dirk Nowitzki…
In Dark City, Rufus Sewell plays John Murdoch, an Everyman who could be anyone. Or he could be a serial killer. He’s not too sure because, while he’s somehow gained telekinetic powers, he’s also completely lost his memory. Poor John barely has time to enjoy the fact that he’s married…
I’m a sucker for all things British. OK, not all of them, but one thing’s certain—that island across the pond is good at making entertaining cinema. There’s a fine art to English humor and black comedies, and Keeping Mum, the newest film from Niall Johnson, is a prime example. The…
Who is Bob Schneider? Is he the spastic B-52’s vocalist with the swishy sprechgesang (half singing, half talking)? Nope. That’s Fred Schneider. Is Bob Schneider your nosey but lovable mustachioed building superintendent? Sorry, but that’s Schneider from the ’70s sitcom One Day at a Time. Bob Schneider is a singer-songwriter…
Stand-up comedy takes cojones. Just ask my funny friend Donnie, who once took on the crowd at an open mike comedy night and was booed right back to his seat. To this day he still carries the battle scars; he has also come to terms with the fact that his…
The first rule of Al Green is that you do not talk about Al Green. At least, not when somebody’s already doing that in the music section of this very same issue of this very paper in anticipation of his upcoming concert with Etta James and Delbert McClinton. So we…
How do we appreciate Santa? Let us count the ways. Not only is he a symbol of holiday spirit, he’s also a great motivator for kids to act nice. He spends weeks braving tiny screamers and lap-wetters galore and still manages to keep his elves and reindeer productive. And as…
A Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas story (right before Die Hard). I watch the George C. Scott version every year. And every time I see it, The Ghost of Christmas Past freaks me out a little less and the revelation of Ignorance and Want beneath the robes of Christmas…
Every family has its holiday traditions. Maybe your family puts meaningful ornaments on your gigantic Christmas tree together. Or, every year, you decorate homemade holiday cookies. Maybe you’re that one family that goes caroling in matching sweaters (How do you find those fantastic matching sweaters and perfect harmonies?). My family’s…
A few years ago, I played the small role of Mr. Martini in the stage version of It’s a Wonderful Life. Back then I thought my future was on the stage and figured my fewer than 20 lines would somehow amount to awards and accolades in the near future. Alas,…
When the dating gets tough, a non-Jewish friend of mine always threatens to go on Jdate.com and bill herself as a Shiksa Goddess. I always tell her it’s a great idea, because there’s no shortage of cute Jewish doctors just waiting for an opportunity to piss off their mothers by…
Frank Hejl, aside from having an almost-impossible-to-know-how-to-pronounce-right last name, is poised for comedy success. The 24-year-old is already producing and hosting his own semi-regular comedy showcase, Mix Tapes and Baby Fights, at Denton’s Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios. As Hejl puts it, “I started Mix Tapes and Baby Fights as a…
While breakfast with a ballerina might have appealed to me as a plump, naïve child, as a zaftig, world-wise woman, it terrifies me. I like to chow down in the morning, and who can do that comfortably while seated with a sinewy, 99-pound ballet dancer? Good thing this event is…
Scientists are now saying that the average age at which a person is considered a grown-up is rising. Some say 22. Some say 26. We say never, and it looks like the good people at the Art Prostitute gallery agree with us. The latest exhibit, Low Tech High Life, features…
Imagine, if you will, a video that features a bumpin’ beat and several scantily clad ladies—and what little they are clad in is composed of faux animal skin-bumping and grinding all in a row. There are pelvic thrusts and libidinous hand gestures, shimmying torsos and lots of skin. Oh, and…
If fast food served with wine-in-a-box is not quite bringing the romance anymore, the Veuve restaurant might have the solution. The restaurant is serving a four-course dinner that includes absinthe, the infamous alcoholic drink whose principle component can be used in the synthesis of psychedelic drugs. Woo-hoo! The drink, often…
What better way to drink your cosmopolitan than with a splash of culture? Try it at the Nasher Sculpture Center this Thursday night. And if you’re scratching your head then you are sooo out of the scene. Everyone who’s anyone knows every third Thursday, the Nasher goes lounge-like and becomes…
Fresh off the Punisher tour with Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo returns to her home ground on her own this week. As a writer for Mencia’s Comedy Central show, Mind of Mencia, Alonzo helps Mencia rant about everything from race relations to gas prices. On her own, she tends to mix…
Finally, a family-friendly film has come along that doesn’t fill us with the indomitable desire to get a vasectomy. Not to be confused with Unaccompanied Minors (the recently released kid comedy about a group of grade-school students trapped in an airport who have to avoid being systematically deflowered by Wilmer…
Maybe Dallas artist Richard Ross should be careful when he invokes the name of African gods in his works. Those gods can get a little touchy. Ross’ current show at the Magnolia Theatre in the West Village, Falling From the Mouth of Nyami, features eight paintings based on an African…
Forever Plaid is the story of four singers—Sparky, Smudge, Frankie and Jinx—who are on their way to a big gig when their cherry-red Corvette is broadsided by a school bus full of Catholic teenagers. As is customary, the God-fearing go unscathed while the rock ‘n’ rollers are doomed to a…
