Since U Been Going to Thrift Stores

We’re not big users of celeb-gossip site TMZ.com — at least, far as you know. That said, this item about Kelly Clarkson tickled us: “Kelly Clarkson was spotted leaving Nobu sushi restaurant in New York last night, looking less like an American Idol and more like a Moscow middle school…

Cleanin’ Out the Closet

Bible Girl has asked me to post to Unfair Park my (late, whatever) New Year’s resolutions that appear in the paper version of Unfair Park — albeit in the advertorial supplement Resolutions guide, which you might have, like, missed or something. So, after the jump, there they are. And since…

Whichever Way the Wind Blows, Dude

This is why people don’t trust the media. All week, it was: Gonna rain, then get cold, then hell will freeze over. Then, this morning: Not so much. Lots of rain, no ice. Now The Dallas Morning News has just updated its weekend weather story with this quote from Dan…

Kings For A Night

Seriously, how kinky have your Saturday nights been lately? Thought you were really out of control when you rented The DaVinci Code and Click, all in one night? Wooooooweee. You better slow down, bucko, or you might find yourself staying up past midnight and missing Sunday school the next morning…

Exiles in the Heartland, Part 1

Once you’ve lost your innocence, you don’t think about it much anymore. We accustom ourselves so quickly to compromise, to an acceptable level of sin. Really, it’s our only line of defense from a loss for which there is no remedy. That and depression. One day, though, you’ll get a…

Why Read When You Can Read About TV?

Just a quick reminder that our dear Uncle Barky’s out in Los Angeles for the next few weeks, sending back daily (hourly?) missives from the Television Critics Association’s press tour, where all the networks trot out their biggest names to pimp their latest product. The Startlegram’s Robert Philpot is also…

No Wonder Mark Mulder Didn’t Sign with the Rangers

Yeah, yeah — I know. This is almost a year old, this clip of “Dallas Stadium” (really, the Ballpark in Arlington) being demolished by a “super tornado.” But since the Discovery Channel has no intention of re-running its Perfect Disaster series any time soon, and since someone else posted this…

The Things Dupree Do For Love

Constable Mike Dupree met with various activists recently and told them that the recent Dallas Observer story that chronicled his affair-gone-bad with an illegal immigrant from Honduras was inaccurate. Which is sort of odd, since we got the story from Dupree, who readily talked to us about the relationship. Last…

Hokey Hockey

This is how disinterested we are in hockey this season: We had no idea till Richie said so that the Stars had a female public address announcer. That’s cool. Remember waaaay back when goalie Marty Turco had it all figured out and the Dallas Stars jumped out of the gate…

A Rough Discovery

Thirty-five-year-old Dallas man Kenyatta Dante Canady, who’s daring enough to wear an eyepatch into a federal courtroom, claims his chief influence in the bank-robbing game is television — the Discovery Channel, to be precise, which he says is where he picked up his brilliant technique that apparently also involves getting…

Commit or Quit

Richie thinks Norv Turner might make a good head coach for Your Cowboys. Friends of Unfair Park, discuss. David Beckham is coming. Barbaro is going. And, thanks to Bill Parcells, Your Dallas Cowboys are stuck smack-dab in the middle of nowhere. Should the 65-year-old asshole (now there’s a mental image…

OK, So This is the Wright Chair After All

This is an honest-to-God Frank Lloyd Wright chair. And the seller really needs to pay Unfair Park a commission at this point… So, we now have a definitive answer as to the authenticity of that danged seat being auctioned off on eBay: It’s the real deal, a Frank Lloyd Wright-designed…

Seriously, Stop It!

A friend of mine, local artist Zachary Broadhurst, is, like, second only to Davy Rothbart when it comes to finding fascinating things on the ground, in restaurant booths, in books, on signs, wherever. So I wasn’t too surprised to receive a text message containing a photo of something he’d discovered…

More, uh, Norah

I see our pal Adam McGill has provided a link to a track from Norah Jones’ third studio album, Not Too Late, which is due January 30. That Adam is nice that way. And he reminds me I’ve been meaning to post these two items: the video for lead-off single…

Peeling Back the Layers

So, we’ve received, like, a dozen e-mails at Unfair Park informing us it’s time to “get over” the Dallas Cowboys’ loss to the Seattle Seahawks Saturday night. They wonder why we can’t just move on and write about how the Dallas Mavericks are the most awesomest team since the Chicago…

Wherein Pulle Pulls a Lupe

In November, I had some fun at the Sheriff Lupe Valdez’s expense when I posted an e-mail she accidentally sent me. I had sent a public information request to her legal advisor Leslie Sweet and copied Valdez on the missivel. In a response that was clearly meant for Sweet, the…

Tom Hicks’ California Gold Rush

It took Tom Hicks long enough to develop the land around the Ballpark in Arlington — about a decade, more or less, and I do mean less if you’ve seen the unimpressive torn-up parking lots out in Arlington. But you can’t say Hicks is slow on the draw elsewhere –…

Wright Chair For Sale. Or is That the Wrong Chair?

When we got up this morning, the last thing we expected to be doing was chasing down the origin of a chair. We’re not gonna go all eBay-crazy here, but here’s yet another item of very local interest worth bidding on: an original Frank Lloyd Wright-designed theater chair from Kalita…

“Chuckling With Irony”

Marshall Colt, the guy who fumbled away the Big Game in North Dallas Forty, is now a sports-psychology consultant. Uh…Tony? This week’s issue of Sports Illustrated, which is out today, doesn’t merely point out the obvious (and the already pointed-out): that Tony Romo’s bobble of the field-goal snap Saturday night…

Indiana Has a Pain in the ACS

The state o’ Indiana has opted to privatize parts of the its food stamp, Medicaid and welfare programs. Mitch Roob, secretary of the Family and Social Services Administration, put the deal in place: $1.16 billion will be paid over 10 years to outside vendors who will handle jobs previously handled…