No, Seriously. A Chocolate Fountain.

I just got back from a tour of the new Whole Foods in Preston Forest — yeah, I know, I am so friggin’ special — and we’ll have plenty to say about the joint tomorrow morning, before its 10 a.m. debut to the general public. But a few things, in…

All Good Things Must Come To A Screeching Halt

Still hurts, doesn’t it? Now, D-Wade is the magazine’s Sportsman of the Year. Go ahead. Let it out. Unless you’ve been too mesmerized by Britney going commando to notice, the Dallas Mavericks — as predicted right here — rebounded quite nicely from their 0-4 start. If you’re reading this second…

Rolling Newspapers

We’re accepting nominations for Bob Mong nicknames. Anything with “Bong” would be cool, man. Real cool. This morning at Time.com, a few newspaper execs were asked to comment on the sorry state of the biz. Among those queried were Scott Bosley, executive director of the American Society of Newspaper Editors;…

Buy the Friendly Skies

Brilliant idea? Hustle? Yes? Looks like Southwest Airlines is selling gift cards this holiday season. Yup, just like Target, Starbucks, you name it — a little plastic gift card with a relatively large price tag, which you can pick up on your way out of Kmart and Wal-Mart. (It’s also…

What the Hell Was Going on at Joe Simpson’s House, Anyway?

Jessica Simpson performed at the Kennedy Center Honors. She will never actually get a Kennedy Center honor, course. Frankly, the video of Jessica Simpson flubbing Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” during Sunday night’s Kennedy Center Honors performance reveals the whole affair much ado about not much. While it’s absolutely odd…

Reviewing the Revue, Part One

Kim Pendleton and Shibboleth did the Five Americans proud — and then some — Saturday night at the Sons of Hermann Hall. I intended to post today about Saturday night’s Reunion Tower Revue, but Allen Gwinn’s city employee credit-card database kinda stepped all over that. I’ll have plenty to say…

Those City Credit Cards Are a Bit of a Gamble

Here are two more interesting tidbits from the Allen Gwinn database: two $500-plus charges at Walt Disney Resorts. One dates from April 5 of this year: $531.87, purchased by Terry Freeman, a senior office assistant in the City Auditor’s Office. The info is pretty incomplete: It doesn’t say for whom…

Zac’s Tracks o’ Wax

Former Observer music editor Zac Crain has leaked the tentative tracklisting for his double-CD Zac Crain for Mayor campaign fundraiser, and it’s somewhat of a doozy. Though the set contains the requisite contributions from Sorta-obvious Barley House drinking buddies such as Olospo, I Love Math and Salim Nourallah (plus everyone’s…

Man from Atlantis

I wish somebody would give me $2,000 to stay at the Atlantis Casino Resort in Reno. Guess I’ll have to go to work for the city. OK, so we’re browsing Allen Gwinn’s city of Dallas credit-card database, right? (You probably are too.) And, so, like, we’re looking for what Allen…

Who’s in Charge at City Hall (Get It?)

Ya know, every time we look at City Hall, we can’t help but think how much it does look like a giant cash machine. Just got off the phone with Allen Gwinn, who’s doing God’s work (or at least ours) by digging deep into the city’s wallet with his just-posted…

From Ballin’ to Bawlin’

Remember back when the New York Giants were all cocky and all celebratin’ like rappers-turned-hoopsters-turned-footballers? Remember even further back, when we were just so sure that if the Dallas Cowboys were gonna be worth a crap they’d have to get great seasons from Drew Bledsoe, Greg Ellis and Mike Vanderjagt?…

It Would Make a Good Screensaver Too

You really should read The New York Times’ account of yesterday’s Cowboys win over the New York Giants, if only for the picture accompanying the recap. I’ve already sent it to Mike Vanderjagt. Maybe he wants to use it on his Web site or, at the very least, as his…

Parton the Interruption

She’s not Dolly Parton, but Jessica Simpson is trying her damnedest. I don’t think this is going to make the December 26 broadcast of the Kennedy Center Honors on CBS. Just a guess. But last night, during the show at which Dolly Parton, Steven Spielberg, Smokey Robinson, Andrew Lloyd Webber…

Poor People Make Excellent Guinea Pigs

Like having herpes wasn’t bad enough, now this: A Washington, D.C.- and Austin-based watchdog group is alleging that Parkland Hospital and the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas endangered the health of low-income pregnant women — and the lives of their newborns — when they let a drug…

Allen Gwinn’s At It Again. Look Out, City Employees.

First Allen Gwinn breaks the DISD credit-card story; now, the fiscal watchdog turns his accountin’ eyes upon you, oh wasteful City o’ Dallas. Gwinn writes on Dallas.org that initially the city rejected his open-records request for “procurement cards” info; seems the city likes engaging in a game of semantics when…

Hey, Before We Forget…

You know who Ed Bark has a news-crush on? Shelly Slater of WFAA-Channel 8. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… Before the week gets away from us, a couple things: Do not forget tomorrow night’s Reunion Tower Review at the Sons of Hermann Hall. No need to go into…

Go Fish

Some time soon, the bottom of the Kirby Building will have a new eatery: Dallas Fish Market. The tragically defunct (er, bankrupted) Jeroboam Urban Brasserie will soon have its Kirby Building corpse reanimated — only to swim with the fishes. Mike Hoque, founder of American Limos & Transportation and Go…

Seven-Day Wonders

Conclusive evidence that man and dinosaurs coexisted. If little else happens in a Christian’s life, he should develop a certain measure of humility. That, after all, is the character of Jesus Christ, who emptied himself of his rights and privileges as God’s only son to die for sorry folks like…

Journalists and Lawyers Suck Face

Ya know, that John Edwards sure can give a speech, but only if it’s about John Edwards. Democrat vibes permeated the annual Stephen Philbin Awards, held at the Dallas Bar Association for the 23rd year at 11:15 a.m. Couldn’t help but be, with several dozen new judges, fresh from the…

It Was Only a Dream: Texas Takes Down Border Cams

In June Governor Rick Perry pledged $5 million to install hundreds of night-vision cameras along the Mexican border that would also stream video so that anyone who spots border crossers can report them on a free hot line. Critics predicted racial profiling and vigilanteism, and even the Minutemen Civil Defense…

“Really Drew Bledsoe” Talks!

This is the genius behind TonyHomo.com. Part of him wishes you didn’t know that. First thing this morning, I touted the greatness of Really Drew Bledsoe’s latest post on his blog, TonyHomo.com. An hour later, Tim Rogers at FrontBurner outed the man behind the blog: Amir Blumenfeld, a 23-year-old Los…

Long-time Listener, First-time Caller

If nothing else, Richie does give us an excuse to run this pic of the future Mrs. Mike Modano. She seems very bendy. Thanks for taking my call. Unfortunately, the previous caller stole my thunder. I’m learning you gotta get up pret-ty early to beat certain blog editors (rhymes with…