Didn’t You Used to Be a Guitar Hero?

Clark Vogeler, closest to the camera, says playing Guitar Hero makes him feel like a virtual guitar hero. Which is odd, since he used to be one in real life. I got to page 112 in the November 16 issue of Rolling Stone–the one with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert…

Heartthrob as Hero

Gary Floyd’s hunky. That he’s also helping find missing persons, well, that just makes him hunkier. As if being the Best Theater Heartthrob isn’t enough, turns out local crooner Gary Floyd is also a do-gooder volunteering his talents and helping spread the word about missing persons. The Stone Street Theater,…

Keeping Up With the Jones

Norah Jones was relatively quiet in 2006. Next year, she’ll release a new album–and star in a new movie. No kiddin’. Haven’t heard from hometown sweetheart Norah Jones in a while–unless you’ve been in a Starbucks in the last 23 minutes. (Oh, and I guess there was The Little Willies,…

School of The Rock

I don’t have to tell you what dens of iniquity and sin our state’s public schools are. You walk into one of those things, and you’re practically guaranteed to get pregnant, screw up your SAT or get shot or knifed or something. It’s really shocking I made it to where…

The Terrell of Peril

This one, for a change, isn’t on Bill Parcells. Oh, sure, there were the idiotic decision to go for a two-point conversion in the second quarter, undisciplined players who committed 11 penalties and the ridiculously transparent ploy of running a draw on second-and-10 every friggin’ time. But, no, the Cowboys’…

Whole Foods By Half, More or Less

Driven past the intersection of Forest Lane and Preston Road recently? If so you’ve seen the mammoth new Whole Foods scheduled to open in about four weeks; really, you can’t miss the thing. Looks like a spaceship landed next to a CVS. It’s supposed to be quite the site when…

Science is So Scientific

Dr. Ray Baughman, center, Dr. Mei Zhang, left, and Dr. Shaoli Fang are the UT-Dallas researchers named to the Scientific American 50 list. Rick Perry just missed making it. Dallas has plenty of rich white men capable of getting on a Forbes list of richest white men in America; see?…

Washington Monument

Ron Washington is the new manager of Your Texas Rangers. He’ll be introduced during a press conference today. Well, not yet. For now, it’s simply Washington, manager. Before we roast the Cowboys for all they do wrong, let’s take a minute to congratulate–surprise!–Your Texas Rangers. Instead of half-assing his way…

Yes, Jesus Loves Him. You, Not So Much.

Rick Perry doesn’t wanna know about your god. Because your god’s gonna get you a one-way ticket to hell. Ya know, as a liberal Democrat and a bar mitzvah boy, I was so gonna vote for Rick Perry till I read this morning’s Dallas Morning News and saw this headline:…

Kinky Pickup

The real amusing thing about the weekend’s Silverado 350 Craftsman Truck Series race at Texas Motor Speedway wasn’t that rookie trucker chick Erin Crocker blew an engine on the first lap. Or that checker flag-grabber Clint Boyer led for 103 of the race’s 148 laps, dueling ferociously with Nextel Cup…

Emmitt Finds New Cowboys QB

You know, we thought Emmitt Smith being on Dancing with the Stars was gonna be humiliating. Wow, were we so wrong. I am sure there’s other Dallas Cowboys news to discuss this a.m., though, for the life of me, I can’t think of what that might be at present; something…

He Said, She Said and Nobody Said a Damned Thing

The News gave you no news about Rose Renfroe and Ken Mayfield today. But the paper’s story about their campaigns did answer the question: “You’re so awesome, how come you’re so awesome?” Kevin Krause of The Dallas Morning News normally does a very good job covering Dallas County politics, and…

Eye on The Balls

You probably can’t tell, but this is Your Favorite Dallas Maverick. But one bit of advice, Ben and Skin: Remember Ticket TV? No? Just sayin’, fellas. Look sharp. Don Nelson won’t return to the American Airlines Center until Monday. Unfortunately, his style of basketball arrived Thursday night. In a hideous…

The Write Thing to Do

Wanna see a real, live Pop Prophet? Well, tomorrow you can go to Half Price Books and stare at Will Clarke, who, we hear, is also a good writer. It’s all well and good to get a happy ending from Rolling Stone, but Hot Pop Prophets still have to pimp…

Stern Warning

So, Mark Cuban’s made peace with NBA commish David Stern…not. (Really, I should not have seen Borat four times already…not. Damn it.) You know why Cuban’s mad now, don’t you: Stern’s new league-wide rule that prohibits team owners from going on the floor during the game or joining in team…

Yeah, Mom, It’s All Your Fault!

Since you don’t read Mental Health Business Week and we do–we’re core readers, y’all–we thought we’d pass this along this: Dr. Kristy Hager, a child psychologist at Children’s Medical Center Dallas, tells MHBW that, “Parents who possess an understanding of important principles, ideas and actions contribute to the formation of…

Hook, Line and Brinker

Jonah Johnson is the star of an online reality series thanks to his gig waiting tables at Chili’s. Ain’t America amazing? “Chili’s” and “hip.” Yeah, not since, like, the early 1980s. Which isn’t stopping the Dallas-based Brinker Inc. chain from trying. Oh, Christ, how it’s trying. Says in the latest…

O’Hare of the Dog

Illustration by Craig LaRotonda The keep-’em-out and send-’em-back movement has been thwarted by a judge in Pennsylvania. The much-discussed law passed by the town of Hazelton last summer and seen as a template for dozens of cities nationwide–including Farmers Branch–was blocked yesterday by a judge just hours before it was…

Look Out, Belo. Your Redesign Sucks.

It’s easy to pick on The Dallas Morning News–and, ya know, it’s kind of our job. Has been ever since BeloWatch way back in the late, oh, 1960s, was it? I had no intention of logging in early this a.m. and taking potshots at its new Web site. Who are…

The Three Graces

Peter Paul Rubens, The Three Graces Last week, Bible Girl guest writer Laura Conaway wrote about her Southern Baptist upbringing and her journey from a “born-again congregation” to a “less rigid” Episcopal church where an outsider, “a woman married to a woman,” found a spiritual home. Her faith, she wrote,…

He Didn’t Shoot the Sheriff

Sheriff Lupe Valdez says she’s no friend of the man arrested for threatening to kill her. Well, yeah. We have a few more bizarre details about Norman Russell, the Dallas man arrested last week for threatening to kill Sheriff Lupe Valdez. Turns out the 53-year-old, who Garland police say later…

“Eat My Bush” and Other Likely Signs

This is an anti-Bush rally in Salt Lake City–or about three more people than we expect to see this afternoon and Tuesday in downtown Dallas. Beleaguered by approval ratings still mired below 40 percent and a likely-probable-maybe-dunno routing by Congressional democrats, President Bush is seeking safe haven in Texas a…