Funny Pants

Stacks of jeans are displayed on a table in the center of Bittano Boutique, a trendy shop located in Mockingbird Station near American Apparel and Urban Outfitters. The store is full of colorful baubles, fashionable dresses and all the hallmarks of today’s designer denim–embroidered back pockets, uneven washes, even some…

Raising Dallas

Raising Dallas: We suppose this is good news, in a way. A guard at Dallas County’s jail was fired last week for her treatment of an inmate, and the inmate didn’t die. In fact, the guard was canned for paying perhaps too much attention to one of her charges. Who…

On the Rebound

Avery Johnson went to Africa. Jason Terry to the Bahamas. Mark Cuban went into hiding. And, in the agonizing aftermath of the Dallas Mavericks’ collapse in last summer’s NBA Finals, Celia Barshop almost went crazy. “I was vilified,” says Barshop, “and I never even stepped foot on the court.” Don’t…

Steppin’ Out

The lady with the lilac eye shadow laid on thick all the way to her eyebrows can only venture a guess as to what’s wrong with Gary. The gatekeeper to Hoots Honky-Tonk, she is perched behind a rectangular hole cut through a wooden wall, but she does not know precisely…

Caught Cold

By the time the detective got there, the girl was more or less dead. She had been raped, that much he figured from how they found her–lying on her mother’s bed, her shorts pulled off, her shirt pushed up above her bra. She was 11 years old, and that sickened…

Mo’ Money, No Problems

Eminem, Russell Simmons, Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and Benjamin Chavis got together at the 2003 Hip-Hop Summit in Detroit Rock City. Now Simmons and Chavis are bringing the show back to another D-town…uh, Denton. If you consider eating Ramen and drinking 75-cent PBRs to be the ultimate acts of fiscal…

The Yellow-Brick Corridor

So, the city council just approved giving $515,000 to a man named David Dean? Who dat? Well, says on the council’s agenda he owns something called Dean International, which The Dallas Morning News called in June “a public policy consulting firm working for the city on the inland port.” He’s…

You The Man

Becky Fischer is the leader of the Jesus Camp depicted in the controversial documentary being distributed by Mark Cuban and Todd Wagner. As promised in an earlier Bible Girl column, here’s a black evangelical perspective on Jesus Camp–from occasional Bible Girl contributor Stephanie Morris: I have to admit I’m always…

The Lone Ranger

Whenever we see a picture of Chris Young in a Padres uniform, we cry just a little. Then we drink and cry some more. Then we drunk-dial Adam Eaton. Since firing Texas Rangers manager Buck Showalter a week ago, general manager Jon Daniels has been quiet about a replacement. Hitting…

PETA, Don’t You Have Anything Better to Do?

PETA wants to protect these cockroaches, which are being served in the Six Flags buffet line. To PETA, an exterminator must be like Idi Amin. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals usually protests against the fur and cosmetics industries’ abuse of animals. Yesterday it took up the mighty cause…

If You Got the Money, I Got the Time

The state owes Roger Staubach $4.20–which is my favorite number, if you know what I mean. Be cooler if you did. On Sunday, the Texas Comptroller’s office will once more publish its annual list of folks whose missing money the state has in its possession. Carole Keeton Strayhorn’s peeps sent…

No Child Left Behind

It was a big story early this summer that has since been forgotten: a rich woman from around these parts and her cousin are in Los Angeles, see a 17-year-old mother and her baby and offer the mother $6,000 for the kid. The mother refuses. The two women come back…

Mary Suhm Earns Her Money

This is why Mary Suhm’s getting a raise tomorrow, after city council approves the hike from $255,000 to $267,750 in her annual base salary. Today, in a memo marked “Important Highway Closure Notice,” she notified the honorable members of the city council (and city attorney Tom Perkins and some other…

Wherein Corby Davidson Goes to the Cotton Bowl and Takes a Wee-Wee

This isn’t quite what the “secret” bathroom at the Cotton Bowl looks like, but to Corby on Saturday, well, it kinda looked just like this. Really, this is news you can actually use, actually. Yesterday on KTCK-AM’s (1310, The Ticket) afternoon-drive show “The Hardline,” co-co-host Corby Davidson recounted to Mike…

K.A. Paul to Hastert: What About Me?

Dan Kramer K.A. Paul wants Dennis Hastert to stop worrying about Mark Foley and start concentrating on K.A. Paul. Damn right. It seems airplane-loving, leper-stealing, orphan-abandoning evangelist K.A. Paul has added another high-profile personality to his circle of associates. The Associated Press just reported that Paul–the Houstonian whose ministry has…

U2 Can Love The First Unitarian Church Choir

An old Friend of Unfair Park’s, Steve Dirkx, sure does love him some YouTube (though not as much as Google, heh). Over the past few days, the former Teenage Queer and Telefone (for the young and uninitiated, those are local punk bands of days long since past) has posted quite…

The Fair Can Be So Unfair

Darrel Rundus wants to preach at the State Fair of Texas. The city and State Fair say, “Unh-unh.” Meanwhile, everyone in the midway prays to God they don’t die. On the city council’s agenda tomorrow is a closed-session briefing concerning a lawsuit filed against the city. No big deal. Happens…

Circlin’ Round the Chief

Parking is bad on Lower Greenville. But it could always be a little worse. Last night, about 35 members of the newly forged Belmont Neighborhood Association came together to talk with–and at–DPD’s Head Finest, Chief Kunkle, about the fact that crime is shitty, bars are loud and parking blows for…

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Dean Karnazes is running, running, running into the record books. Us, we can barely bother to drive anywhere these days, much less run. Like Forrest Gump, one day Dean Karnazes (rhymes with oh-NASS-is) just started running. And so far, he hasn’t stopped. If you’re looking for a kook crazier than…

Jessica and Zayra: Not Quite Good Enough

Till we went back and re-read Zac Crain’s 1999 story here, we forgot that Jessica Simpson was signed to a record deal in 1997. So, we almost done here? It’s been a while since we’ve had news about the big-screen version of Dallas, which is supposed to start shooting around…

The Fixe is In

At Abacus, Kent Rathbun and his peeps are selling garbage at premium prices, and that’s no knock, my friend. The subcription-only Wall Street Journal has a piece today on the surge of prix fixe and tasting menus popping up in restaurants across the country. Such menus are not only instruments…