Weather

That was a crap weekend, wasn’t it? Well it was if, unlike me, you went outside at all. The outside is over for all of us until Texas bucks its ideas up. Guess what though? Texas is about to buck its ideas up…

I don’t know if you can analyze weather like what I can (I also type good) but if you’ve even glanced at one of those funny colored-in maps they have out there on those weather stations, you’ll be aware that tomorrow is going to look very bright. Bright in the…

So, what are you doing right now? You’re inside, right? You might be living inside a fridge, or lying, face down, by an air vent, or maybe having an angry fight with a fellow employee over the thermostat. It’s probably one of those things. Well, that’s only going to get…

That’s right, Dallas. Apparently Saturday marks the first day of Summer, according to Delkus anyway, which means no further research is necessary. All this can possibly mean is discomfort, sunburn, pain, short fuses, and an inevitable exquisitely painful death…

The National Weather Service and International Research Institute for Climate and Society at Columbia University announced Friday that the groups were bumping their estimation of the likelihood of a summer El Niño this year to 70 percent. Depending on where you get your online news, this was either potentially fantastic…

It could only have been fate that steered me to Al Roker this morning. Just one week after I changed the route of my Farmers Market-to-Oak Lawn bike commute, shifting from one plowing straight through Downtown and McKinney Avenue to one skirting the edges past City Hall and Victory Park,…

Memorial Day. Now, I don’t know exactly what Memorial Day is, being from abroad. I’m not letting that stop me from speculating, however. As it is an American holiday in almost-summer I’m going to assume you have idyllic plans. Apple pie, grilling, family members, monster trucks, shooting animals, grossly misunderstanding…

We step away from our usual prediction of the weather in Dallas to say hello to everyone in Fort Worth! Hello Fort Worth! We haven’t forgotten about you. In fact we have a very special NSFW FW post ready for you. NSFW, of course, stands for No Shit, Fort Worth!…

We interrupt your usual weekly news messages to bring you an early weather report. We do this partially because the weather for this weekend looks pretty boring, as long as you consider your internal organs melting to be boring, and because Thursday brings the best chance of Pete Delkus rolling…

Yes. That was the entire period between icepocalypse and the fiery king of the heavens moving to within eight inches of the surface of Texas. Did you blink? Then I’m sorry, you missed the entire thing. All of that patio weather, gone. Every chance you had to go outside without…

Hold on to your hats, both metaphorical and physical, because this weekend is going to get a little wild. I don’t know what the deal is with weather specifically on Sundays, but all we can really infer is that none of us are going to church enough, and the Lord…

Severe storm are possible Sunday afternoon/evening!! Large hail, damaging winds & tornadoes are the concern!! pic.twitter.com/ZApq3MBnFv— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) April 11, 2014 Last weekend, I was correct about the weather. It was dreadful. The weather, that is, not my forecasting. There’s no stopping me now, not after I’ve got a…

Tyler, Texas, which has produced many yellow roses and U.S. Representative Louie Gohmert, is also home to Neal Barton. Barton is the news director of KETK, the local NBC affiliate, who occasionally takes the liberty of delivering a bombastic on-air op-ed. Think Dale Hansen, minus the humor and self-awareness. On…

To everyone in town this weekend for what are apparently a series of basketball games played by unpaid teenagers, we say welcome! Welcome to North Texas! How was the weather last night? That bad, huh? Well. If a few tornadoes and storms and the odd bit of baseball-sized hail are…

Last week, I predicted thunder, rain, and general apocalypse. I said all of your weekends would be ruined, and that you should all stay inside. In my defense, it was quite overcast. I never said I was a weather forecaster…

You see all that brightness outside right now? It’s pretty great, isn’t it? It’s been like that all week. You might have made plans to spend a Saturday outside for the first time since The Great Ice Storm of 2013 obscured the sun and turned us all into shut-ins. Maybe…

Here’s hoping you were able to avoid driving this morning. If you did have to get behind the wheel, here’s hoping your route didn’t include Interstate 45 through Corsicana, which tweets and media reports confirm is an ice-covered parking lot. This presents some rather obvious challenge. For first responders, it’s…

Tomorrow is the beginning of March, which means the winter that brought you such weather catastrophes as Ice Storm Cleon and ICE FORCE LEVEL TWO will be officially over, right? RIGHT? Sure, spring doesn’t officially begin until March 20, but this is Texas. This is supposed to be the time…

Remember Brian Aiken? He’s the guy who shot the mesmerizing “Dallas From Above” video. See also: A Photographer Used a Drone to Shoot a Video of Dallas, and It’s Awesome Well, he’s done it again. And by “it” we mean use a camera-equipped drone to shoot incredible aerial footage of…

Welcome to our second ever live weather blog, where the news is made up and the weather doesn’t really matter. Here are the facts — it’s cold. How cold, you ask? Well, imaginary internet person, it’s really very cold. Cold enough that, were Jack Nicholson to head outside with an…

When I woke up this morning and my journey to the backyard to let the dogs out confirmed what Pete Delkus had foretold — that it was really cold — the plan was to hunker down, put on an extra pot of coffee and blog from home. Then, I saw…

Congratulations, Texas. You successfully averted a morning of rolling power blackouts. Less than an hour after ERCOT, the state’s power-grid manager, issued an emergency alert pleading with customers to conserve electricity, the declaration was rescinded after Texans rushed to lower their thermostats and turn off their gaudy LED lights…