Why won’t my hot Mexican gardener take a HIV test?

Dear Mexican: Really? You answered “When Should You Use Usted Instead of Tú?” recently over my “Why Won’t My Gardener Fuck Me Again If I Demand an HIV Test?” Any sad gabacho can Google for grammar tips (no offense to Yo Quiero Hablar). Meanwhile, we clueless gabachas need to know…

Is Mike Rawlings Leppert 2.0?

OK, all you Mike Rawlings fans: I sure hope you like your new “progressive” Democrat mayor, the man who was going to make such a big difference at City Hall. Because it sure looks like the same weird old Dallas plantation to me. Look, I admit it’s just my own…

On City Hall Ethics, Mayor Mike Passes the Buck

So let’s see if we can ride this circus train. Mike Rawlings runs for mayor pledging to clean up the “ethics” issue at Dallas City Hall. And if I may offer a small correction here at the top, I think right now it’s not really so much an ethics issue…

What Part of Illegal Don’t Mexicans Understand?

Dear Readers: The Mexican doesn’t want to take this week off, but has to because it’s his mother periódico’s Best Of issue and the Mexican is tasked with eating a thousand tacos in the search for the best one in Orange County. I’ll return next week, more panzón than ever…

Life’s Cheap. Levees Aren’t.

God may still be in his or her heaven. I’m not up on that. But I think he’s about to vacate the regional headquarters of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. Since the 19th century we Americans have believed that engineers are just a little bit better at building stuff…

When Should You Use Usted Instead Of Tu?

Dear Mexican: I learned Spanish in school as a teen. Then, it seems, because I was young, everybody was an usted. I would like to practice speaking it, but am now an adult and don’t know who gets to be a tú. I’m scared of getting it wrong and unwittingly…

Dumped On

Well, students, the last Dallas City Council meeting was a bad one for you, but like a lot of bad days, this day was important. I’m speaking to those of you who came down to City Hall from Paul Quinn College to lobby the city council. You wanted to stop…