I am in contact with a woman whose identity I have agreed not to divulge, a middle-aged affluent Republican homemaker in the snooty Park Cities portion of Dallas, who says that she has not had an affair with Herman Cain. Of course I found her story difficult to believe at…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people more behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth local music. Local Music ‘Mericans officially debuted on November 16, 2010. Close enough for rock and roll, as far as some sort of an anniversary commemeration is concerned, right? Our first…
I have been thinking a lot lately about dog shit. It seems to be the answer to one of my more persistent inner puzzles. Dog shit is a surprisingly deep topic. Dallas enacted a so-called pooper-scooper law in 1997, a moment in local history I remember well, because I got…
Oh, no. The ice-driving season is about to come back to Dallas for its annual reign of terror. We’re all going to die. When I moved to Texas from Michigan about 100 years ago, the common wisdom was that people from the North knew how to drive on ice and…
Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes. Those in the United States for two or fewer years would be expelled. Those in the country for two to…
Riddle: What does the city of Dallas have in common with Westchester County, New York? This is a hard one. They’re a county. We’re a city. They’re Yankees. We’re not. Their median home value is $559,800, according to the census. Ours is $128,800. Getting tired of this? OK, I’ll tell…
Wolf Blitzer of CNN takes on the Republican candidates tonight for the second foreign policy debate. This is the do-or-die moment for our homeboy: Either Rick Perry repairs his fortunes and escapes the back-bench or he’s toast. Perry’s people know that, so our governor is going to be all-in tonight,…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people more behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth local music. Tom Morningstar’s art can be seen adorning the walls of a few Gaston-area spots of Deep Ellum: The Elbow Room, Big-E’s Convenience Store (killers tacos there, by the way),…
Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry to bother you. Got a second? Hey, I’m not asking for money. I just need a favor. Do you know this guy, Frank Librio? Would you be able to get in touch with him for me? He’s the spokesman for the city of Dallas. Very…
Star-Telegram Washington bureau reporter Maria Recio has a story today asking various Texas politicos how much Governor Rick Perry has embarrassed the Lone Star State. The answers don’t vary a lot. If this were a story about fishing, some people would have their hands out about shoulder width apart and…
On November 10 I wrote a column for the paper about documents leaked to me from within the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers indicating that the corps has no faith in repairs to the Trinity River levees being proposed by the City of Dallas. I can show the documents to…
Dear Mexican: Why is Mexico such a dump? Just to name a few of the problems: stray dogs running all over the place, piles of trash burning in the street, blown-out tires hanging from cactus by the side of the road, shredded plastic shopping bags plastering every fence, rampant corruption…
Last week the city council shot down a six-lane bowling alley on Lower Greenville Avenue next to Good Records, denying zoning for a $1.5 million project there because activists told the council the bowling alley and attached bar would draw hordes of loud drunken outsiders to the neighborhood. Really? We…
Wait. The “occupy” part of Occupy may be over, but that’s not the story. The story is what the movement has accomplished already. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has evicted Occupy from Zuccotti Park. Our own mayor is making it plain that the Occupy Dallas camp behind City Hall is…
I wasn’t going to write about Penn State, because I’m some guy in Dallas and who cares what I think? But Dallas Morning News columnist Jacquielynn Floyd has written about it in today’s paper, so in my book that gives me permission. Most of the people writing interesting things about…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people more behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth local music. When it comes to local music scene contributors, Andy Odom is one for whom we made the call to bend the behind-the-scenes rule of this column slightly on his…
All right, class, today our lesson is: “Logical Wormholes and Semantic Corkscrews: Translating the Language of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Into More or Less Plain English, or, You Know, Spanish. Whatever. Language How People Talk.” But first an ironclad guarantee. This is not a homework assignment. There will…
I have a column in the paper this week about the Trinity River levees, and I had a please-respect-my-lawn thing here yesterday about plastic bottles and White Rock Creek. Even I didn’t get the connection between the two before the comments started rolling in from the idiot, free-market, libertarian, government-hating,…
Here is where this libertarian bullshit — the propaganda foisted on us by Koch-brothers, Harold-Simmons-style polluter robber barons — just makes suckers, fools and chumps out of us if we believe it. A story in today’s New York Times reports that the top national park system official killed a plan…
Dear Mexican: I am an Anglo intruder in New Mexico. When I moved to Albuquerque from Virginia, I fell in love with Mexican culture. I was impressed at what I called “Southwestern hospitality.” To me, the words “laid back” or “easy going” describe perfectly the people I’ve met, in New…
I can tell you this much for sure: You and I do not know the truth about the mortal danger to downtown Dallas posed by potential flooding on the Trinity River. I will give you specific important instances here of misleading statements by public officials, but I can’t give you…
OK. Uncle. I give. And it wasn’t the public urination. I do that all the time. Three things made me decide it’s probably time for Occupy Dallas to de-occupy. First: allegations that a minor was sexually assaulted in one of the tents the Occupiers have pitched according to their agreement…
