Dear Mexican: It’s so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream about fixing…
Did anybody else feel less than homeland-secure after yesterday’s fandango with the Dallas County Homeland Security Advisory Committee? First, Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price tried to re-appoint to the committee the founder of an international anti-Semitic hate group — a guy best known locally for threatening to bring rifles…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. Lee Russell has spent the last 27 years doing live sound at just about every major amphitheater in the country, traveled the world with some really big productions, and is the…
Apparently you guys like it when I’m angry, so I was all ready to launch into my next rant about the odd concept that is the modern yogurt shop, including Yumilicious in Uptown, which I visited last week. But it didn’t feel right to rail on the shop. Everyone in…
It looks like Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins, long a puppet of Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price, finally has hit the Price wall. Jenkins has stopped action on the appointment of Price protégé Aaron McCarthy, aka Aaron Michaels, to the county’s “homeland security advisory committee,” whatever the hell that’s…
A Washington, DC-based sushi chain recently released a promotional video about shooting a sushi roll into space. Getting sushi into the stratosphere should be easy enough. A weather balloon was used to take a chair into space for a very similar commercial. Still, the video seemed a little fishy. I…
Dear Dallas, I’ve had enough of your authoritarian valet system. I think the hatred began this summer at Wild Salsa. It was a slow weekday night, and we pulled up, handed over $7 and watched the valet back the car up three spots and throw the transmission in park. I…
Two years ago I toured the area around Columbia Packing Company on East 11th Street in Oak Cliff with city council member Dwaine Caraway and his wife, state Representative Barbara Mallory Caraway. The Caraways told me shocking stories of guts from nearby meat-packing operations piled in steaming heaps in the…
Wait a minute. Forgive me, but I must misuse and abuse a bit of Dylan Thomas here to suggest we should not let Rick Perry go quite so gentle into that good night. I’m reading a lot of crap about how he bombed in his presidential campaign because he was…
If you’ve consumed drinks at Marquee Grill, Black Swan, the Chesterfield, or any of the other high-end cocktail den around Dallas, you’re going to get a kick out of this video. The short depicts a mustachioed bartender-douchebag pontificating on the finer elements of mixology, through short, punchy snippets. It’s pretty…
Rick Perry wasn’t able to seize private property and build a Spanish toll road four football fields wide from Mexico to Oklahoma. He’s probably not going to get away with making academic research illegal. But his legacy may be even bigger. By the time he’s done being our governor, Perry…
Dear Readers: I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republic presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed — namely, that he’s half-Mexican. The lamestream media is treating this as a revelation — never…
Three weeks ago I wrote a column for the paper about a plan to pump drinking water from Lake Texoma even though the lake is contaminated by zebra mussels, an invasive species that can annihilate other animal life in a lake and promote blooms of toxic algae. We here in…
If Rick Perry still considers himself a candidate for president, then I get to consider him one too. I think I’m justified in remarking on the 180-degree turnabout Gov. Perry has made in his basic worldview since beginning this quest. You remember the original Perry line when it started, right?…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. Who is Kim Finch? Hell if she knows. She’d pour you a nice shot if you could help her figure that out. Finch was once “Puncho Villa” in the Assassination City…
Late last year, Forbes named Smashburger America’s most promising company. The article describes an American population as burger-obsessed and compares the Denver-based smashers to other chains, including Five Guys Burgers and Fries, Jack in the Box and Hardees. (Shake Shack, the undisputed fast food burger champion of the world, was…
Stories in today’s Dallas Morning News and New York Times report that American Airlines could try to ditch some or all of its pension plans during its trip through bankruptcy court. We should all hate that. Every time we allow another business to slash the throats of its own retirees,…
Thinking about hosting a Super Bowl Party, but looking for a way to raise the bar? Well, we found it. Pizza Prints are melting stickers for pizza that you can eat. Sold in classic infomercial style (insert infomercial voice), they are “edible image decorations that turn your pizza into a…
Man, talk about whistling past the graveyard. At yesterday’s Dallas City Council meeting, council members Tennell Atkins and Delia Jasso asked good questions about the city’s flood control plans, and City Manager Mary Suhm and her assistant, Jill Jordan, gave good answers. But it was all deck chairs on the…
Dear Mexican: How come Mexicans don’t perform in the Winter Olympics? No talent? Or are Mexicans afraid of snow? I’m thinking both. Also, Mexicans don’t do too well in the Summer Olympics, either. They even suck in soccer. There is plenty of snow in Mexico, so don’t use that excuse…
Everybody I talk to thinks the FBI Dallas County corruption investigation will produce indictments soon. The rumor is that the targeted alleged co-conspirators are tattling on each other so fast they’re giving new meaning to the phrase “rat race.” The investigation centers on Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price, the…
In all of the hoopla over the impending opening of the new Calatrava bridge over the Trinity River, please remember what that bridge really stands for and why it’s there. It stands for the ruination of what could have been the world’s greatest urban park. Remember that in the run-up…
