Doritos Locos Tacos Spur a New Level Of Food Shame

I was hoping that eating a Doritos flavored taco would inspire a few grafs of humorous prose, but instead it just spurred sorrow. Now, sitting at my desk after enduring my arterial assault, I feel depressed. I won’t call Taco Bell’s creation good or bad. It tastes exactly like what…

GOP Talking About Sex While Big Money Screws Pensioners

You wait. When this whole presidential election gets rolling in earnest, pensions are going to be a whole lot sexier issue than condoms. People just haven’t figured it out yet. Josh Gotbaum, director of the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp., is quoted in a Q&A in The Dallas Morning News today…

An Open Letter To The Grilled Chicken Sandwich

Dear Grilled Chicken Sandwich, You suck. I mean you really, really suck. I’m not just picking on The Blackfriar’s version pictured above — the McKinney Avenue pub just happened to be the unlucky subject of this food critic’s rant — I’m talking about all grilled chicken sandwiches everywhere. All of…

Envying A Trash Picker — A New Low for Pendejas

Dear Mexican: I’m so perplexed by my Mexican neighbor. For one, he already has four girls, and I just saw his wife — and she looks like she’s pregnant AGAIN! What really bothers me is that I live in an affordable housing unit. The rent is cheap and based on…

Derek Walker’s Gone From Airwaves to Dirt Track

Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. In 2009, KZPS-FM 92.5 fired Derek Walker from their promotions crew. Unfortunately, he was sorely misunderstood by the marketing department’s then-head honcho, and was let go after going shirtless for a…

How to Beat a Bully: Start by Changing Their Parents

Two stories in the news just now offer encouragement on the bullying front. In today’s New York Times is an account of a new policy adopted by a big suburban school district north of Minneapolis. Christian conservatives there had been fighting against an effort to protect gay students from beatings…

GCB Can’t Be That Over-The-Top

Yeah, OK, OK, I get that GCB is going to be a send-up of drunk bitchy Christian women in the Park Cities. I’m all for that. I just hope the comedic voice of the TV series doesn’t serve to obscure the fact that it’s true. Alan Peppard had a funny…

Arizona Whitewashes American History in Texas

Dear Mexican: Aunqué soy Boricua, mi corazón está al lado del pueblo mejicano, aquí en Arizona. ¿Porqué no hablas contra “La Bruja Mala del Oeste” Gobernadora Jan Brewer, “El Leon Cobarde” Ex-Senador Russell Pearce, “El Hombre Hecho de Lata” Alguacil del Condado Maricopa Joe Arpaio, “El Hombre Hecho de Paja”…

Jamie Kinser, DFW’s Lady in Black

Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. Jamie Kinser started booking shows after shaking hands with Ernest Tubb’s nephew, Lucky Tubb. Before long, a handshake turned into a partnership. Next thing you know, Kinser’s original endeavor of booking…

Who’s Eating All This Steak?

Steak steak steak steak steak steak steak. The Dallas Morning News published a Pavlovian steakhouse slideshow the other day, with pictures and a link to a story published two summers ago that ranked Dallas’ best steakhouses. There are some sexy shots in that slideshow, but they invoked deja vu: D…