Micah Parsons Has Inflation Blues Day After Play-Off Win, and Y’All Got Jokes

The day after the Dallas Cowboys sent Tom Brady packing (maybe for good) with their first road playoff win in 30 years, Micah Parsons evidently needed to pick up some things at the grocery store on the way home. The Cowboys 6-foot-3-inch linebacker had three tackles and one sack in the 31-14 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but if there’s no bread at the house, there’s still no bread.

Inflation is a serious problem at supermarkets!!

— Micah Parsons (@MicahhParsons11) January 17, 2023

Tuesday morning, while Cowboys fans were basking in the playoff win, Parsons took to Twitter to bemoan the price of groceries. The obvious thread is, “Oh, like he’s affected.” Sure. Presumably not. But not a bad way to use his platform regardless. Really, though, since when did a jar of Bonne Maman strawberry jam cost more than $7? Even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches aren’t safe.

The responses to Parson’s Tweet are all of us. Here are some of our favorites.

1. Addressing the elephant in the room. (Cowboys kicker Brett Maher missed four extra-point attempts against Tampa Bay, a new record).

How much does a kicker cost though?

— Michael Muscato (@michael_muscato) January 17, 2023

2. Not even $22 eggs can break this mood.

You’re right. But even that can’t break my vibe today. pic.twitter.com/tL3mM2hh0U

— Roy Reyna (@royreyna11) January 17, 2023

3. There’s a hustle for every season. Even avian-flu season.

Eggs be 13$ bro that’s why I made a side hustle pic.twitter.com/8CrMyZVAPs

— Djdksnebdisbsbf (@djdksnebdisbsbf) January 17, 2023

4. Good observeration, HiddenOG. Good observation.

Does this means your shin/leg is okay if you are out walking around the grocery store?!!! Don’t scare us like that my guy!!! Great work last night 😎

— HiddenOG (@HiddenOG) January 17, 2023

5. We do need to keep our eye on the ball here. Sunday is going to be tough.

Come on man we got the niners on Sunday

— Michael kungl (@kungl_michael) January 17, 2023

6. Oh, so that’s why eggs cost so much. Make sense now. 

The price of Eggs! 💲💲💲💲💲💲 pic.twitter.com/2hSMw9lLO8

— Finn Fights #MultipleSystemAtrophy (@docbill33) January 17, 2023

7. Babies are soooo cute. Diapers, not so much. Welcome to parenthood, Micah.

Diapers and formula ain’t f’n around

— Danny Biscuits (@DaninFortWorth) January 17, 2023

8. Shoot your shot, Raymond. It cost zero dollars to ask a question.

And at next weekends game u got a plug on 3 tickets? 🦁

— Raymond (@collazo530king) January 17, 2023