Audio By Carbonatix
Ruffles is nationally launching Ruffles Crispy Fries Potato Strips this month, “just in time for National French Fry Day on July 13.” Wait — you didn’t know July 13 was National French Fry Day? And that on National French Fry Day, all you are allowed to eat for 24 straight hours is french fries? Where’ve you been?
From PR Newswire:
“Ruffles Crispy Fries Potato Strips are inspired by bar and diner foods guys really love, but packaged conveniently for on-the-go snacking,” said Christina Menendez, senior director of marketing, Frito-Lay North America. “These great tasting fries can be enjoyed anywhere, anytime, and are great on their own as a snack or a perfect accompaniment to hamburgers and hot dogs.”
Important things to note:
1) These things aren’t chips. They’re not exactly fries. They’re “potato strips.” It’s like a whole new concept that’s never been created before (especially not in vending machines since forever and labeled “Hot Fries”). The name sounds like they let a 4-year-old yell out a bunch of words for a while in a marketing meeting, and went with it. “Should we name them Ruffles Fries?” “But how will people know what they’re shaped like? We need something more specific.” “RUFFLES CRISPY FRIES POTATO STRIPS AAAAAAAAAAAH!” “That says it all. We’re done!”
2) These potato strips are convenient for on-the-go snacking, really innovating the french fry experience, which previously had been so not-on-the-go. If you’ve ever tried to eat french fries in your car, you know that shit does. Not. Work. French fries are so bulky and awkward. Our whole lives, we’ve been like, “WHY IS IT SO HARD TO EAT YOU ON THE GO, FRENCH FRIES?” Thank goodness Frito Lay made us dry chip fries in a bag instead.
3) Legend has it that you can microwave Ruffles Crispy Fries Potato Strips for a “straight-from-the-diner flavor.” That’s the best kind of diner french fry, really. The ones they pop out of chip packages and microwave in the back just before they serve them to you with the ketchup crust from the top of a watered-down ketchup bottle. Mmm. Suh yummy.
4) Most important: These are meant for guys, you guys. Senior director of marketing for Frito-Lay said it herself. As a people, guys love bar and diner food. It’s a scientifically researched and proven fact. We’re sure of it. And if Frito-Lay is creating chips and fries and strips based on things guys stereotypically love, we can’t wait for their next chip/strip/fry: SEX FRIES. (Available in moist or sticky.)
