Hank Vaughn
Audio By Carbonatix
Celtics diehard and Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy spent some time in Dallas recently as the Mavs played (we use that term loosely) the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals. Portnoy is known for his hard-driving opinions and strong personality slathered in big Boston attitude. Ben Affleck’s Dunkin’ bit is a fluffy puppy comparatively.
Portnoy likes to dabble in one-bite pizza reviews and stopped by two Dallas pizzerias while in town. His first stop was at Pizza Leila in the Arts District known for its thick crust Sicilian-style square pie. The base on this style of pizza is focaccia bread and one slice will do, two will put you in a coma. If you find yourself there, don’t skip on the cacio e pepe arancini.
While filming this review, El Presidente, as he’s known among Barstool fans, said he likes Dallas (but added for good measure he doesn’t like Kyrie) and almost on cue, a woman walking past asked if he was a Celtics fan and wished him well on his visit, to which he responds “You people are the nicest people.”
Then he looks back at the camera with the fury of a million Dunkin’ Donuts and says, “We’re gonna step on your throat.”
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Portnoy even likes “Jimmy Jones” he said. … wait, he meant Jerry. Yeah, that’s it Jerry Jones. He said he’d like to have a drink with Jones, then offered advice to the Dallas Cowboys owner: “You gotta step on their throat. Period. End this thing. Get the bannah.”
As for the one-bite review, Portnoy initially says Pizza Leila is a mix between “good and cafeteria pizza” likening it to a popular frozen brand. He gives it a 7.2 score, which seems a lot better than frozen pizza. (We love Pizza Leila.)
However, his next stop was Louie’s and he liked it much more. Louie’s is an iconic old-school Dallas restaurant and bar with big Chicago vibes in the Knox-Henderson neighborhood. It was our pick for Best Tavern-Style Pizza in 2023. The space exists in a time warp, a corner bar with ice-cold martinis and thin pizza. We love it.
Portnoy met the owner while inside, who asked him if he “Pied up,” meaning had he tried the pizza yet. Portnoy noted the authenticity of the Chicago-style pizza, holding it up in the sun to gaze at the cracker-like crust. After giving it a 7.6 score he offers, “Good crunch, good vibes, highly recommended.”
Pie up, Dallas.
