This weekend, Pizza Hut Park in Frisco will host Edgefest 17, an all-day, three-stage concert featuring some of the biggest names in alt-rock.
If you like the bands that KDGE-102.1 FM plays ad nauseam, you'll absolutely love this lineup. Your only problem will be convincing your parents to shell out $49.50 per ticket and drive you there.
Because this is the 17th year of Edgefest, we figured we'd preview the show by describing each act on the first and second stages in haiku form. Why haiku? Well, a haiku's 5-7-5 scheme adds up to 17 syllables. And that sounded like as good a reason as any.
First Stage
3 DOORS DOWN
Post-grunge should be banned
"Kryptonite" is aptly named
It drains my life force
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
Started out emo
Then tried to turn into Queen
At least they're sincere
BLUE OCTOBER
Boring frat-rock failed
So they bought some eyeliner
Their fans are suckers
SEETHER
"Can't fight the Seether"
Remember Veruca Salt?
Forget this band too
PUDDLE OF MUDD
Extra D for "Dumb"
More regurgitated grunge
Nickelback meets Creed
CHEVELLE
Christians—yes or no?
Who cares? They suck either way
Tool for sheltered dorks
FINGER ELEVEN
These guys can't decide
Who they want to imitate:
Staind or Jars of Clay?
FILTER
"Hey, Man, Nice Shot" ruled
Finally, a decent band
Just a decade late
MISER
Bland, generic rock
Pretty boys with jailbait fans
Why cover "Zombie"?
Second Stage
STORY OF THE YEAR
Alt-rock with street teams
Manufactured fashioncore
Focus-grouped screamo
ATREYU
Ooh, they cuss. Badass!
Better not let Mom hear this
Hot Topic metal
10 YEARS
Chunka-chunk guitars
Melodramatic singing
Butt-rock from Knoxville
SICK PUPPIES
Dreadful, soulless rock
"Free Hugs" video is sweet
If the sound's turned off
DRIVE BY
Cheesy, but not bad
Teen angst and bombastic rock
Nice guitar parts too
DRIVE A
15-year-old punks
Feisty L.A. rock with heart
Should headline this mess