Here's a list of the top 10 things I'd rather do on Sunday than go to Ozzfest, with each item keyed to the Ozzfest act I'd most like to do it with: 1. Go to Home Depot and pick out new wall-to-wall carpeting for my breakfast nook (Ozzy Osbourne). 2. Eat a baby bat's head (Cradle of Filth). 3. Argue with my mom about what I wore to my little brother's graduation dinner (Marilyn Manson). 4. Apologize to my mom for what I wore to my little brother's graduation dinner (Disturbed). 5. Drop by Guitar Center and listen to random dudes with baseball caps and pained facial expressions thrash for half an hour (Chevelle). 6. Check out the new Metallica album (Voivod). 7. Wonder if I actually like all my friends or if they just like me because my dad bought me a trampoline last summer (Grade 8). 8. Buy a plane ticket to Maui on the Internet for 57 percent of what I would have paid through a travel agent or over the phone (Hotwire). 9. Hook up with my man Snoop Dogg and grab a bite to eat (Endo). 10. Get my hair did (Korn). See you there! Or not!
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Mikael Wood

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