It's been five long years since the Dallas Cowboys have appeared in the playoffs, and some would say that the years of futility, and dream crushing mediocrity would have humbled the fanbase. BUT FUCK NO WE'RE COWBOYS FANS! The little modicum of success that the team has attained this year has gone directly to our heads, and we're acting like the last 18 years of screw-ups never happened.
This has led to the end of hibernation for long front running fans, and has made the douchebag fan drunk on Demarco Murray led hubris. It's getting out of control, and nowhere is this insanity running more wild than on youtube where every local "rapper" has decided to put out a song about the team in hopes of capitalizing on their success. Here are the worst of them. Hope you really like "We Dem Boyz" remixes.
See also: The Best Dallas Music Videos of 2014
"Cowboys Life" by High Note, Rhythm the M3 and G.Spook
I'm sure if he was still alive Tom Landry would be totally OK with being airbrushed on the hood of a lowrider with five Super Bowl trophies standing behind him, and then featured in a music video where people chug Bud Lite and yell about "Cowboys Life!" If Hank Hill was a real person this video would make him put the dogs in the pool house.
"I'm a Cowboy Forever" by Nmisol
The sweatiest, drunkest woman of all time appears in this video 19 seconds in, and it just gets weirder. There's a dude break dancing while wearing a full white suit that's covered in Cowboys logos, there are star wipe transitions, and the dude in the suit eventually performs a strip tease. For whatever reason, all this seems to be going down in the banquet hall of some hotel. I need to go to this; it'll be better than the time I took peyote at the anime convention.
"We Dem Boyz (Cowboys Remix)" by Keize
"Shit dog, the Cowboys are killing it this year."
"Yeah man, they're making headlines."
"I was thinking maybe we can ride this shine, make a track about 'em."
"Yeah, that's what's up."
"Let's take that 'We Dem Boyz' track and remix it. We'll talk about Dez and Romo making plays."
"Let's smoke this blunt first."
I'm not saying that's how this track came into being, but I am saying I've witnessed this exact conversation three separate times since the Cowboys beat the Saints.
"How Bout Them Boys (Dallas Cowboys Anthem)" by Big Hud
Look, let's ignore the fact that this song is terrible, that this video's graphics are from 1994 and that it's poorly edited. This dude rhymed Dan Bailey with Charles Haley; that's the greatest thing to ever happen to Dallas Cowboys football. This dude is now my personal hero.
"We Dem Boyz (Cowboys Remix)" by Lui Da Great & WoodTown
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Cole Beasley, rap video star. I love the fact that this video features the same airbrushed Tom Landry hood from the first video, and that they name check everyone. Literally everyone: Orlando Scandrick, Dwayne Harris, even Gavin Escobar. Hell, Ragonk McCaline get's a shout out. This is unreal. I can't believe people spend so much time doing things like this just in hopes of getting a little local shine.
Really though, who am I to be talking? After all I'm the guy who keeps trying to upload All-22 film of the Cowboys offensive line to Pornhub. (Er, kidding.)
DC9 AT NIGHT'S GREATEST HITS
50 Signs You've Been Partying Too Long in Denton Florida Georgia Line Danced on the Grave of Country at Gexa on Saturday What Your Favorite North Texas Band Says About You Does Dallas Want Its Own Austin City Limits? The Best Places in Dallas to Go When You're Stoned