The results of The Highly Unofficial Unfair Park Mayoral Poll are in, and the new mayor of Dallas is...Gary Griffith. Seriously? Yes, 6,723 of our Friends voted -- either that, or four people who had nothing better to do than juice their candidates -- and in the end, Griffith squeaked by Max Wells. Both garnered 24 percent of the vote apiece, but Griffith got 1,638 votes, while Wells raked in 1,624. I smell a virtual runoff. On someone else's Web site.
Tom Leppert wasn't far behind, garnering 23 percent -- or 1,537 votes. But everyone else was far, far back: Darrell Jordan got himself 558 votes (or 8 percent); Sam Coats got 544 votes (again, 8 percent); while Ed Oakley could muster only 486 votes, for 7 percent. But, look, we know this thing was completely flawed and absolutely unscientific (which would make it very much like a real election, come to think of it). Like, there's no way John Cappello (240 votes) or Roger Herrera (49 votes) will do better in the general election than Don Hill (26 votes). But we do believe -- absolutely -- that Jennifer Gale will get 15 votes come the election. And, Ed Okpa, sorry, pal, but you only got eight. But at least you got on the fake ballot.
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Next week's Highly Unofficial Unfair Park Poll: Should we keep having Highly Unofficial Unfair Park polls? --Robert Wilonsky