Oh, shut up: Although still low in the ratings, KLIF is emerging as a pioneer in the crowded talk radio genre. In recent weeks, it's broken new ground by eschewing the conservative AM-talk format for flat-out fascism. If you're looking for radio that makes your skin crawl, turn to KLIF 570.

KLIF's new führer is Tom Kamb, who spends much of his daily afternoon show bashing "affirmative action" police Chief Terrell Bolton. On Monday, however, he broke the barriers of race baiting and progressed to race war. Enraged by talk that President Bush may offer undocumented Mexican immigrants legal residency, Kamb claimed illegals have no rights; hence, "We can shoot them on sight."

His logic was based on some dim-witted interpretation of the 14th Amendment that Buzz, not being insane, can't adequately explain. "You are nothing in this country if you are not a citizen. You don't have any rights," he railed. "If you sound like an illegal, look like an illegal, it's ID please, boom, you're out." We should use "any force necessary," he thundered, to boot out those horrible Mexicans.

Kamb promised to lead an insurgency against Mexican immigration. "There is going to be bloodshed in this country if President Bush allows this to happen," he vowed. "I'm willing to take a bullet for my country." Buzz would suggest that he hurry up and do it, but only a complete asshole frivolously recommends gunplay.

No ice, ice baby: Buzz isn't opposed to hockey. Or good deeds. It's just that hockey, in Texas, in the middle of the summer seems as misplaced as a geisha house in Salt Lake City. The good people with the Fort Worth Brahmas, a minor league hockey franchise in Cowtown, don't see a problem with it, though (summer hockey, that is, not geisha houses).

As a public service, the minor leaguers have set up a program called "Blacktop Brahmas," a free clinic for local children held every few days throughout the summer until August 17 that teaches basic hockey skills in parking lots in the area. Buzz visited one camp last week, held in a Grandy's parking lot off Interstate 820. While the children ran around, apparently oblivious to oppressive temperatures, Buzz gasped for breath and prayed for death to tap us on the shoulder and end the misery.

Well, at least the kiddies were happy to play with professionals.

"Wait," said 10-year-old Tonya, "you mean those guys play? Like, as their job?"

Mr. Pink Slip: Tony Ridder, chairman and CEO of Knight Ridder, which owns the Fort Worth Star-T, zipped into Cowtown last week to meet with managers and was talked into a quick Q&A session with the staff.

Ridder has been under fire nationally for ordering Wall Street-approved job eliminations--the company has slashed 2,000 positions this year, about 9 percent of its workforce. But of course he felt safe talking to the mostly docile Star-T staff, as the Westoplex's cash cow was largely spared the ax.

The Q&A session was uneventful and Ridder uninspiring, offering no grand vision and certainly taking no blame for the company's predicament. "A yawner," as one writer put it. The thing most Star-T'ers seem ticked about? The elimination of the Four-Star, the on-site cafeteria. "They say it's supposed to save money," says one staffer, "but how am I supposed to work through lunch without my club sandwich?"

--Compiled by Patrick Williams

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Patrick Williams is editor-in-chief of the Dallas Observer.
Contact: Patrick Williams

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