Dallas Will Get More Crap Weather Late This Week, Because Mother Nature Hated Birdman

Dallas' most favored weather oracle, Saint Delkus the Wise, brings news that later this week North Texas shall again be the object of God's wrath. Yes, later this week, after having been given the briefest of respites following the plague of #sleetshow2015, Dallas will again face the trauma of weather...

By Stephen Young

February 23, 2015

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Dallas' most favored weather oracle, Saint Delkus the Wise, brings news that later this week North Texas shall again be the object of God's wrath.

Yes, later this week, after having been given the briefest of respites following the plague of #sleetshow2015, Dallas will again face the trauma of weather that is, you know, kinda bad and sorta unpleasant to get out in.

As you can see in the prophetic septych, both Wednesday and Friday may fall victim to the tragedy of the dreaded "wintry mix." Let this be a warning to you profligate consumers of emergency rations. You may have enough Tito's and Easy Cheese to survive one day of watching Netflix, but you certainly don't have three.

So take Tuesday to repent -- seems to be a theme around these parts today -- and stock up.

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