A Friend of Unfair Park who's thinking of spending the Fourth of July tea-partying out at Southfork Ranch -- "but only for Mickey Dolenz," she writes, and I smell fresh-baked sarcasm -- directs our attention to a forthcoming Dallas appearance by Ann Coulter, who'll be at the Fairmont Hotel on August 15 to help raise funds (and fun!) for the Revolution PAC. Ducats ain't cheap, even for the cheap seats, which begin at $220 and run all the way to $440 for chairs closest to the stage, where you can almost taste the three-course meal of fury. But those in need of some extra-special Ann time are in luck: For $2,200 you get "access to [an] exclusive one-on-one pre-event with Ann Coulter," and now I know just what to get Jack E. Jett for Hanukkah. For those already considering the Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival at Starplex that night, featuring the likes of Marilyn Manson and Slayer, it'll be a tough call.
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