Homer Simpson Is Not Amused

Sandwiched between reports of strangulations, strikings and stolen cars on Saturday's Dallas Police Department crime report is this item from the Fiesta at 9727 Webb Chapel Road in Northwest Dallas: "AP ATE A CHOCOLATE DONUT AND LEFT WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT." And, yes, "AP" means the guy was arrested -- though, more than likely, the guilty party received a citation from an officer, same difference. And the cost of the purloined pastry? Forty-five cents. Seems like an excellent use of everyone's hard-earned. --Robert Wilonsky

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