Hell of a way to kill bugs. Courtesy Courthouse News Service this morning comes this story out of Plano: Laura Grant is suing Terminex in a McKinney courthouse, claiming that in March of this year a termite inspector named Mark Brackenridge "touched his crotch inappropriately and masturbated in front of" her during a termite inspection. She claims that during the incident, he exposed himself and "began to talk to himself in a disturbed manner," during which time he discussed a follow-up termite-killin'. There's more to the story, which I can't believe Gordon Keith hasn't already seen, but you should really read the entire suit with the family around the Thanksgiving table. --Robert Wilonsky

• Crime