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A Letter to Velvet Taco's Texas Burger Taco

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Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

How's it going, Texas burger taco? Hope all is well on your end.

I'm heading out to see you soon -- in just a few minutes I'll be all smoking tires and fishtailing-Honda out of my apartment building. My plan was to order you, with a glacially cold local root beer, and eat you while sitting on the curb. With no one around, of course -- you're best without judgmental company. Side note: I'm pretty sure I look like Gollum putting the one ring on when I eat you. In the past, eating you has resulted in whole orchestras of "mmms" and exclamatory phrases like "Holy Santa shit." So, I wanted to write this note, in advance of my coming, to let you know that I respect you.

In case you weren't aware already, you are the best cheeseburger taco in Dallas. I mean, you're a cheeseburger taco. Do you get that? You have a slice of peppered bacon, crisp pickles, a tangy "velvet sauce," all resting lavishly with that oddly shaped but beautiful burger thing. The kicker is the American cheese. Also, all of it comes in the only thing better than a buttered bun -- a toasted flour tortilla.

Truly, you are the one Texas burger taco. I'm sure taco purists can't wait to spike me to the ground for even calling you a taco. "You're no damn taco!" They have surely shouted at you. "Get out of this town!" Do not let the naysayers insult your brilliance: You're the only burger taco that's worth a damn in this world. And therein lies your genius: You have no ties to anyone. Stay of the utmost hard, cheeseburger taco. Fly to the heavens! Sorry, I'm just excited. I see your potential, and I think, what else can be tacoed? What more can I taco?

Anyway, I'll see you soon. I usually order you with a side of roasted corn elotes, which is also excellent. Have you tried those? Try those. Also, recently I had the tater tots with the egg on top, which doesn't need any further introduction. Just, you know, keep up the good work, OK? Don't worry about labels or who says what to whom. They'll come around. Be proud and be taco. You're delicious.

Yours in time,

Nick Rallo Hungry Dallasite 555-555-5555

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.