We Try Martin House's Mayonnaise Beer ... 'for Some Reason'

Martin House Brewing Company in Fort Worth enjoys good fun at the expense of our taste buds. Sort of like The Late Show with David Letterman’s old bit "Stupid Human Tricks," but with beer.

The brewery's solid line of core craft beers has established it as a mainstay in North Texas, but the brewers here have been known to go rogue. A few years ago they concocted a Fiery Crunchy Cheesie Bois (5.2% ABV) sour beer made with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Real Cheetos were used in the brewing process. When it was released, people lined up out the brewery door, around the parking lot and back again. It was during the pandemic, so maybe we were just super parched for suds or entertainment. Or both.

Last week Martin House posted something that for some people induced the old gag reflex: Mayo beer.

Real Mayo Beer was concocted with 120 pounds of mayonnaise acquired from Restaurant Depot. The occasion was a “Cinco de May-O” party last Friday. The can mimics the Real Mayo design with a spin on Hellman's tagline: “Bring out the Worst.” We'll say.

On Saturday after a late breakfast, I wasn’t far from the Fort Worth brewery and cajoled an innocent family member into hopping over to the banks of the Trinity to see about this beer. For fun. We both have a mild amount of disdain for blobs of egg-based gelatinous condiments, so this impromptu decision channeled don't-think-about-it-just-do-it energy. Or stupid human tricks.

I called ahead to ensure they still had some in stock — because who knows what can go down at a Cinco de Mayo event? I was emotionally prepared for whatever the response. It’s a big town — there’s plenty to do, eat, see and drink.
The person who answered the phone (which, cheers to answering the phone) said there were a couple of cases left and promised, “There's plenty on tap. They made three kegs," then added after a pause, "for some reason.”

While standing at the bar, we overheard a bartender recommending the Real Mayo to another patron, saying something along the lines of “It’s light.” Remember: they have three kegs to get through.

With a bad attitude from the get-go, we gave it a shot. Real Mayo beer is almost as clear as a white wine seltzer, with a bit of bubbles. Hints of citrus and salt (almost like a sour) hit the palate first, which gives way all too soon to that creamy egg essence at the back of the mouth, and that is the part that will touch off your gag reflex.

The best thing about this beer is that a four-pack would make a great white elephant gift for the holiday season. Imagine the sediment settling to the bottom of the can over the next seven months.

We imagine there are still at least two kegs to get through. Bonus: Martin House is working on a new food trailer out back. On Saturday, about half of the menu was available.

Martin House Brewing, 220 S. Sylvania Ave., Fort Worth. Monday, 4–9 p.m.; Tuesday – Sunday, noon – 9 p.m.