Audio By Carbonatix
We step away from our usual prediction of the weather in Dallas to say hello to everyone in Fort Worth! Hello Fort Worth! We haven’t forgotten about you. In fact we have a very special NSFW FW post ready for you. NSFW, of course, stands for No Shit, Fort Worth! Are you ready for how the weather will be in Fort Worth? Are you totally ready? Are you sure? Because here it is. Over the page.
Of course, if this trend continues, we will all die from the severe drought gripping Fort Worth in particular. Perhaps you’re planning a delightful picnic of some sort. Maybe you’re thinking of sitting outside. Remember, that for you to be able to do these delightful activities, people of Fort Worth, the whole state is slowly dying.
It’s not climate change, though. That would mean Rick Perry is wrong, and that’s never happened. What it actually is instead is just the fury of God, an aspect of climate change that Rick has never seen fit to comment on for some reason.
We’re thankful for you. Are you thankful for us?
We feel thankful for our staff and for the privilege of fulfilling our mission to be an unparalleled source of information and insight in Dallas. We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community.
Help us continue giving back to Dallas.
Things Rick Perry Probably Blames For Climate Change Instead of God or Science, Ranked
People With Different Lifestyles than Him A Lack of Raindances The State of Louisiana Obama’s Hidden Weather Machine Foreigners A Scarcity of Armadillos Michael Bublé Opinionated Scientists That Damn Mary-Jane Medical Aid for the Poor
So, in summary, it’ll be a perfect weekend in Fort Worth, but you won’t be able to enjoy it without the searing guilt that comes from knowing you’re living in the end times of the planet you call home. If only we hadn’t removed all that funding from NASA.
As for Dallas, here’s a picture of the weather there this weekend.
As you can see, it’ll be dark. Delkus is yet to tweet about the weather in Dallas this weekend, but we’ll let you know when he does.
