By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
Nevertheless, there's obviously a numbskull in charge when you dump three of the five starters (Astacio, Drese and Chan Ho Park) from your opening-day rotation and get zero pitching in return. Hart's elongated kiddie tryout camp resulted in fewer quality starts than your burned-out uncle's '77 El Camino.
Blame Tom Hicks.
For being a millionaire tightwad and repeatedly telling us that Hart is the smartest GM in baseball. (Cough-bull-Cough-shit-Cough.)
Blame the players.
Maybe A-Rod was right. This might just be a collection of kids not yet ready to be winners.
With their tape-measure homers and big innings, the Rangers are sexy. But they're not sensual. What they need is more foreplay. More teasing. More nibbling. More small ball. They're chasing baseball's all-time home run record with seven players likely to hit 20 or more. But only two with at least five at-bats will hit over .300--All-Star second baseman Michael Young and...Park.
"It's absolutely a disappointment," Dellucci said. "To be as close as we were last year and then to have a year like this is a big step backward. No one around here is happy about what's gone on or where we are."
Blame Orel and Zonk and Eric Nadel and former owner George W. Bush and Bump Wills and...
Aw, screw it. Blame everyone.
Especially the dude in the blue tutu carrying a pink purse.