By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Eric Nicholson
Nevertheless, there's obviously a numbskull in charge when you dump three of the five starters (Astacio, Drese and Chan Ho Park) from your opening-day rotation and get zero pitching in return. Hart's elongated kiddie tryout camp resulted in fewer quality starts than your burned-out uncle's '77 El Camino.
Blame Tom Hicks.
For being a millionaire tightwad and repeatedly telling us that Hart is the smartest GM in baseball. (Cough-bull-Cough-shit-Cough.)
Blame the players.
Maybe A-Rod was right. This might just be a collection of kids not yet ready to be winners.
With their tape-measure homers and big innings, the Rangers are sexy. But they're not sensual. What they need is more foreplay. More teasing. More nibbling. More small ball. They're chasing baseball's all-time home run record with seven players likely to hit 20 or more. But only two with at least five at-bats will hit over .300--All-Star second baseman Michael Young and...Park.
"It's absolutely a disappointment," Dellucci said. "To be as close as we were last year and then to have a year like this is a big step backward. No one around here is happy about what's gone on or where we are."
Aw, screw it. Blame everyone.
Especially the dude in the blue tutu carrying a pink purse.