Things Sriracha Does Not Go On

I started thinking about this project last Sunday whilst at brunch. I'd just hit Vickery Park's brisket sandwich with a healthy dose of cock sauce and noted how well the flavors worked together. Spurred by the famous Frank's Red Hot tagline, "I put that shit on everything" I asked my...
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I started thinking about this project last Sunday whilst at brunch. I’d just hit Vickery Park’s brisket sandwich with a healthy dose of cock sauce and noted how well the flavors worked together. Spurred by the famous Frank’s Red Hot tagline, “I put that shit on everything” I asked my drunken table mates the inverse question: What does sriracha not go on? Crickets.

I’ve spent a decent part of this week asking around the office and responses were dismal. I started a parody post that included “puppies” on the list of things sriracha doesn’t compliment, but then I found this article on The New York Times that says a predecessor to the modern day condiment, perfumed by galangal, was actually used on roast dog.

I give up. Of all the lists I’ve tried to create, this with out a doubt the hardest. It may even be impossible. I wanted 10, but only came up with five.

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Tiramisu was the best suggestion I got from the brunchers. The idea spawned lots of other creamy deserts, but that felt like cheating. Besides I think you can make a case for the applications of sriracha laced ice cream in certain applications.

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Anyone who has tried to fix a clogged cock sauce nozzle with a Herculean bottle squeeze knows the results. Cock sauce stains.

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Related

I dare every mixologist in Dallas to try to hide a teaspoon of sriracha in a Ramos Gin Fizz. Not gonna happen.

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Cereal was another that started off strong and withered. Savory varieties just might be successfully augmented by the red stuff. Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats, though? No way.

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Related

This one is as self explanatory as it is absolute. Never use sriracha here.

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… or here. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

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