Audio By Carbonatix
Quick programming note: Things are going to be light around here in the coming weeks. A bunch of us threw in on the Powerball, which is up to $550 million, and as everyone knows, the more people who get together on buying a ticket the better the odds. So I don’t suspect we’ll be around to do much blogging.
While most people just buy a ticket and forget about it, we spent some time thinking about what we’ll do with the money. Here’s what we came up with:
– Save the Twinkie.
– Buy The Dallas Morning News and publish everything but Steve Blow in Mandarin.
We’re thankful for you. Are you thankful for us?
We feel thankful for our staff and for the privilege of fulfilling our mission to be an unparalleled source of information and insight in Dallas. We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community.
Help us continue giving back to Dallas.
– Franchise Off-Site Kitchen, starting with a location in the intern’s cubicle.
– Fire the intern.
– Rent out Cowboys Stadium, fill it with rice pudding.
– Buy D Magazine and rank Garland as the best suburb in every issue, mostly to screw with the people in Southlake.
– Buy a house in Southlake.
– Cowboys (-10) over the Eagles, huh Vegas? We’ll take the points.
– Buy Museum Tower and turn it into a combination KFC/Taco Bell/homeless shelter. With louvers, of course.
– Buy Museum Tower and add the Eye of Sauron to it:
– Pitch in for a few weeks of Jennifer Sprague’s salary.
– Buy the naming rights of Klyde Warren Park and change the name to Holy Shit Dallas Got a Park Park.
– Run for mayor, decree that in order to become a first-class city, the Hunt Hill Bridge and Holy Shit Dallas Got a Park Park must immediately switch places.
– Employ expensive consultants to scrub our archives of every reference we’ve made to Mitt Romney, taxes or Republicans, plus anything ever written by Schutze.
– Pay to change our names to those more appropriate for our new class — Wedgewood Snitworth III, for example. Except for Brantley. His is fine.
– Walk-in weed humidor.
