Last night, a metric shit ton of fancy Dallas people met at the Fashion Industry Gallery to stuff their faces full of awesome. There was much bacon. Will Fleischman and his beard were slicing up a Lockhart Smokehouse meatfest for the masses. Mixologists were shaking up cocktails whilst wearing their…
You’re bound to be in Austin at some point this summer. And if you’re not into making reservations at a real restaurant, you’ll probably end up at a food truck or three while you’re there. I love Mighty Cone and the other great spots in the park on South Congress…
She says she wanted to try the food, but we think Cheap Bastard stopped by Moon Wok just to have an excuse to break out her fedora, single white glove and sequined ruby dancing shoes. You can find the place at 8670 Skillman St., 214-221-8888. Times I drove by and…
Damn. Eating that freezer burrito made you feel like an awful human being. But, exactly how awful? Wish there was a way to know exactly how much shame you should feel when you eat a horrible, awful food? Wish. Effing. Granted. Above is our very helpful, very scientific Universal Food…
Today is April 20, also known as 4/20. I think we all know what that means: It’s finally Lima Bean Respect Day, yo! Have a fun and safe Lima Bean Respect Day, everyone. And while you’re funning, play some Four Twenty Bingo!…
Sweaty camel-toe count: 32 People post-workout high-fiving count: 5 On Northwest Highway, right next to Bicycle Works, a bicycle café called Bicycle Café (7510 East Northwest Highway) recently opened. When you walk inside and see all the bicyclephernalia on the walls and all the people still wearing their helmets while…
Fact*: Fifteen million people are getting burger wasted in Dallas right now. And every day, that number grows higher and higher**. If you or someone you know is burger wasted, please call the number at the bottom of this helpful guide. Pretty, pretty please. Get more facts*** in this week’s…
For this week’s cover story, Alice “The Cheap Bastard” Laussade provides an extensive and profane guide to, as she puts it, her “favorite restaurants in Dallas where cheap meets delicious (without meeting diarrhea).” It follows. Also, now you can Cheap Bastardize freakin’ anything. Drive-Through Deals White Rock Coffee 4216 Abrams…
Rice Bowl Express, 11419 Garland Road, is fast and cheap. How could Cheap Bastard not love it? By eating there, unfortunately. Times I was like, “Is that a hooker? Yes. Is that also a hooker? Yes.”: 12 Trucks in the Fiesta Mart parking lot next door count: 21 I’ve driven…
Hypnotic Donuts. Today. For one glorious hour. From 11 a.m. to noon. They’re calling it Lone Star Wednesday. (Because they’re giving away Lone Star beers and also it’s Wednesday.)…
St. Patrick’s Day is coming, y’all. And it’s bringing all of its crazy food and drink with it. Don’t know about you, but I can’t wait. Why? I’m glad I asked…
You know that the St. Patty’s Day festivities are happening this weekend along Greenville Avenue, but exactly when do the leprechaun keg stands start? And when is it Irish Car Bomb-thirty? Angela Hunt provided this handy guide to the St. Patrick’s Day fun, and the police offered up a list…
(This week, Cheap Bastard hits Dairy-ette (9785 Ferguson Road, 214-327-9983) and finds something better than Sonic and Whataburger. For that kind of digging, we’re thinking of moving her to investigations.) Ceiling leaks: 2 (size large) People actually reading the whole newspaper: 3 Dairy-ette is like a Sonic. Only better. Their…
What’s in a name? That which we call a taco would, by any other name would taste just as kick-ass. Sorry, but Cheap Bastard’s deep, deep love for Tacos La Banqueta, formerly Tacos El Guero, got us thinking about Romeo and Juliet. And butt crack. Whatever it’s called, the joint’s…
This week, the Cheap Bastard goes in search of tacos but finds balls instead at The Stand, 2916 McKinney Ave., 855-557-8263. Very open-minded of her. Khakis-and-a-tie count: 6 Number of guys who walked in and said, “Ha. Sign says, ‘Parking in rear.'”: 5 The other day, I decided to finally…
Welcome to the return of The Box. Last time, Matt McCallister turned the ingredients from the box into a bunch of awesome Super Bowl appetizers. This time, we gave our big box of crap to Craig Cottier, the surprisingly unbearded drink-mixer-man at Neighborhood Services Tavern. (Seriously, can you mix drinks…
This week, the Cheap Bastard heads into Deep Ellum for yupster-approved Uncle Uber’s Sammich Shop. Other people in front of me in line count: 5 Minutes from walking in door to putting really delicious food in my face: 4 So many things bothered me about the name of Uncle Uber’s…
I recently took a trip to Las Vegas, Nevada. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s called The City of Shit I Lost All My Money Again Ooh Look There’s An ATM. What you might not know about Las Vegas is that it is also home to Serendipity 3, a restaurant…
This week, Cheap Bastard rolls the dice and finds she loves the crunchy fish taco (heh, heh, she said crunchy fish taco) at Taco Taco, 5954 Royal Lane, 214-750-4420.) Other diners in the restaurant besides me count: 0 Times I laughed when I realized that I recommend the crunchy fish…
Mockingbird Station parking lot. Level P2. Discovering this crappy Texas was, by far, the very best thing about seeing Haywire. Follow the Mixmaster on Twitter and Facebook…
In her never-ending pursuit to murder her colon, this week the Cheap Bastard spends a few nickels at Texas Garden, 8420 Park Lane, and a few other places that were the same place or something. Drips of water that fell from the ceiling onto the counter as I waited for…
Welcome to the return of The Box. Last time, Trailercakes turned our big box of crap into two delicious cupcakes. This time, Chef Matt McCallister of Campo will get a chance to turn a box of chips, hot dogs and wine coolers into something that’s actually edible. Here’s the challenge,…
