Overaccessorized old ladies count: 12 Prada count: 5 The Zodiac Room in Neiman Marcus downtown is an old white lady’s wet dream. Here, you can brag about your Louis Vuitton luggage and talk shit about that chick who always shows up late to church (“And then, gasp, she has the…
Camera count: 1 million Someone yelling “egg roll” in the kitchen count: 53 Bistro B (Authentic Asian Cuisine) is all kinds of awesome. It’s delicious awesome. It’s cheap awesome. It’s what-the-fuck awesome. It’s scary awesome. It’s “Aww, dammit, this Thai iced tea has those chewy brown gelatin bubbles in it…
When we found the looks-totally-Shell-branded arcticready.com website, which includes a build-your-own Let’s Go Arctic advertisement, we thought it was real. Turns out, it isn’t. But, it’s still amazing. The site is part of a “multi-layered stunt” created by Yes Men. Enjoy…
“Ooh, fried brisket pie!” exclamation count: 32 Shame level: Red “I liked the pulled-pork fried pie better than the brisket fried pie.” That’s you, when you go to Baker’s Ribs and order fried pies. Or, maybe you’ll be like, “You know what I want to do? On this day, I…
I just got this direct message from James St. Peter, co-owner of Hypnotic Donuts: You might have heard we got our food trailer purchased. I MIGHT HAVE HEARD THAT?!?! I HOPE I MIGHT HAVE HEARD THAT. PLEASE TELL ME YOU PUT WHEELS ON YOUR DOUGHNUTS. We have asked for photos…
When we found the Milkshake Maniac series on YouTube, we were interested, then afraid, then interested, then afraid again. We had to know more about this dude from Plano who wears an “I Heart MS” shirt and makes extended-dance-cut “oh”-faces at the camera. So, we asked him some questions…
I have a metric junkton of cookbooks in my kitchen, but, there are a few that are my absolute favorites. Some sit on the shelf and have never been opened, while others are so banged up from use that you can barely read the recipes anymore. And then, there are…
The apparently now required in every meatstaurant In Dallas cuts-of-meat mural count: 1 Guys burping count: 2 When I heard about Chop House Burger on Main Street, I instantly thought, “Oh, weren’t they on Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives and don’t they have another location in Arlington or somewhere?” And Google…
Last week, we asked Central Market, “Where in the hell is that badass bleu cheese pancetta dip, y’all?” And this week, they answered awesomely…
Times I kicked myself for every time I’ve eaten at Ojeda’s in my life instead of eating across the damned street at Taqueria Mezquite: 126,229 Credit card machine count: 0 Taqueria Mezquite is across the street from Ojeda’s. And you want it in your face. The murals on the outside…
I love Central Market. I love the food maze they make you cart through. I love that they always have approximately one zillion apples in that place. I love that I always find some random shit I don’t need but is freaking amazing (See: wasabi arugula, pictured above). I love…
As giant hail nuts were hitting my house yesterday, I had a couple of immediate questions: 1) How pissed are people who are walking home right now? 2) Oh no — does that dang Chihuly exhibit have inflatable emergency umbrellas that immediately blow up around the exhibit when shitty weather…
I just picked up a special order I made from Pecan Lodge: a meat basket. It’s an idea I had a while ago when I was trying to think of something to get a guy friend who’s been sick. Didn’t want to get him flowers. And bacon roses seemed so…
Realtor count: 3 Mom count: 2 After a serious workout sesh at Curves (beer dumbells), a manicure at Beauty Times (Yes, it’s actually called that. Makes me want to open Sick Times and Swim Times and Food-Eating Times.) and a three-hour browse at the LDS Books and Antique Bibles store…
China Mex Grill 8367 Park Lane 214-468-4645 Times I shook my fist at the China Mex menu: 25.4 Number of shrimp I ate (out of a possible 500): 2 When China Mex opened in the old Taco King location on Park Lane, I was optimistic. I have giant-lazy-Susan love for…
Friday is National Doughnut Day, and we know you’re going to celebrate it the right way: by stuffing your face with nuts made of dough. (We recommend trying one million bacon doughnuts.) We figured we’d asked James St. Peter, co-owner of Hypnotic Donuts, how he’s planning on celebrating on Friday,…
Creepy business dudes drooling on servers count: 8 Bard count: 0 Chaucer’s Sushi & Grill came up several times when I internetted “cheap sushi Dallas.” So I checked out their website, and let me tell you, the Chaucer’s website is more amazing than any website I have ever seen or…
While watching a gripping episode of Nothing’s Still Happening on Mad Men, I saw an ad for the best product line ever: Man Candles from Yankee Candles. Yankee Candle is offering Man Candles in scents including 2 x 4, Riding Mower, First Down and Man Town (guessing this one smells…
For the last three years and change, Taco Joint at 911 N. Peak Street has consistently offered up kickass breakfast tacos, Disaster Queso that punches regular queso in the queso balls and jalapeno ranch that makes me love being alive. And they just opened a new location at 6434 E…
Yesterday the Huffington Post reported that 7-Eleven is nationally debuting Slurpee Lite. Slurpee Lite will be made with Splenda instead of real sugar and promises to be “50% fewer calories, 100% awesome taste.” Give me a summer-fucking break. Seems to me that if you’re inside a 7-Eleven at all, you’ve…
Other people in line in front of me count: 8 Days I’ve been thinking about this chicken since I ate it: 3 (whole) As I yelled, “Elaine just popped my jerk-chicken cherry and my goat-curry cherry and I really liked it!” in the parking lot of Elaine’s Kitchen, I realized…
Pink gorilla robot + cheesesteak + plus fresh, super-sweet doughnuts + Alice. We’re just grateful no one was injured in the frenzy at Pookies Donuts (6522 Lemmon Ave.). Other people count: 13 People-watching amazingness level: 2,310 When you see the giant pink gorilla robot waving at you in front of…
