Everyone knows that in a nice restaurant, special etiquette must be practiced. Carefully following the rules of decorum reserved for fine dining is what separates The Fancys from The Normals. The trouble is, it’s hard to remember every single rule at once. Well, lose your shit not, friend. The Cheap…
The fried food at the State Fair of Texas gets a ton of attention. And, that’s great– because everyone knows that from fried peaches to fried chocolate-covered-strawberry waffle balls, our fair’s fried food is badass. It’s rititulous. See also: Where to Find the Big Tex Choice Award Food Finalists at…
In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. Babies are great. They’re cute, they’re made of you, they say funny stuff — aside from the…
Monday was the Big Tex erection at the State Fair of Texas. The erection lasted about three hours, so it’s safe to say that this 60-year old Texan is most definitely on Cialis. A ton of photographers were there, taking pictures of the event. I took a moment to ask…
It’s here! Fried Christmas!!! That delicious waft of funnel cake + corny dog + world’s biggest Frito pie + horse-ish ladyman stank you’ll get when you walk through the turnstiles at the fair is gonna hit you like a Lisa Frank double food rainbow. And you will love it. The…
It’s here! Fried Christmas!!! That delicious waft of funnel cake + corny dog + world’s biggest Frito pie + horse-ish ladyman stank you’ll get when you walk through the turnstiles at the fair is gonna hit you like a Lisa Frank double food rainbow. And you will love it. See…
In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. See previous entries here. Other parents had told me the horror stories: “You just have to avoid…
Meat Fight is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that I’m throwing at Sons of Hermann Hall in Deep Ellum on November 4. In addition to mind-blowing meats for eating, there will be beers from Deep Ellum Brewing Company. There will be Knob Creek tastings. Proceeds from the event will benefit…
In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. See previous entries here. “Scrapbooking” is what happens when you take a normal person and you give…
You’d think that there’s no way that Firexbox could be the name of a restaurant, but you’d be wrong. When I first saw it, I thought, “Surely there’s just a typeface issue here with their logo and they mean Fire Box with chopsticks in the middle and that design element…
See also: Dear God My Kid Wants Me to Take Her to Chuck E. Cheese In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. Earlier this…
See also: The Fried Food Finalists Coming to the State Fair of Texas 2012 Last Wednesday, the eight finalists of the Big Tex Choice Awards were announced. Today, they gathered for an epic fried battle. Three judges (1310 The Ticket’s Donovan Lewis, Representative Eric Johnson from the Texas House of…
Dearest Bacon, I love you. You put the B in BLT. You put the “bacon” in bacon burger. You put the “with bacon” in macaroni and cheese topped with bacon. You taste like yes. And for this, I heart you. Remember that time I said, “No, thank you. I don’t…
See also: So, Dallas, There’s Going to Be an Art Exhibition in a Swimming Pool In The Parent Crap, Alice Laussade chronicles life as a mom in Dallas. Worried you’re screwing up your kid? Tweet questions to @thecheapbastard and she’ll confirm that, yes, you’re screwing up your kid. Being a…
Sorry, Your Heart. It’s time for the State Fair of Texas Big Tex Choice Awards. Finalists were just announced. Here’s the list, plus a little about the history of some of this year’s competitors. The eight finalists for the 2012 Big Tex Choice Awards (in no particular fried order): Deep…
In her never-ending quest to find cheap, non-lethal lunches, Alice “Cheap Bastard” Laussade ventures as far north as Forest Lane, within spitting distance of the ‘burbs. She’s a fearless bastard too. See also: *The Cheap Bastard’s Ultimate Guide to Eating like a Total Cheap Bastard in Dallas Mom count: 11…
Congratulations: You have a dorm room! Uncongratulations: the dorm cafeteria blows. (Except for the cereal bar– ain’t nothing wrong with a cereal bar.) The next few years, if you’re doing college right, you should be broke. Which means, at some point, you’re going to get tired of eating the shitbombs…
Guy Fieri likes lots of stuff. He likes tattoos. He likes yelling. And he really likes thumbs-upping. As opposed to McKayla Maroney, who is not easily impressed, we’re pretty sure Guy walks around this life constantly impressed. And for this reason, we have created a Guy Is Impressed tumblr…
Each week, Alice “Cheap Bastard” Laussade scours the city for good, cheap lunches. Well, most weeks. Many weeks. OK, she does whatever she damn well please when she freakin’ feels like it. (We don’t argue. The woman carries a shiv. Rumor has it, she’s on parole.) This week, she felt…
See also: *The Cheap Bastard’s Ultimate Guide to Eating like a Total Cheap Bastard in Dallas Wagon wheel count: 8,000 When I walked into La Parrillada at dinnertime, I wasn’t sure if they were really open. They had multiple signs out front that said, “Yes, we’re open.” But zero people…
Follow Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. See also: *A Cheap Lunch at the Zodiac? It’s a Gas. *Bistro B Gets an “A” for Awesome Old count: 3,846 People I heard ordering “Cereal…
Uchiko in Austin is not fucking around, you guys. Owner Tyson Cole won the James Beard Award for Best Chef: Southwest in 2011. This year, Uchiko executive chef, Paul Qui, took home the Best Chef: Southwest for 2012 at the James Beard Awards. And that was right after Qui won…
