This week, the Cheap Bastard eats at the Purple Onion, 1838 Irving Blvd., 214-747-0101. The place has a picture of a Viking on the wall, yet she neglects to make any Spam-Spam-Spam jokes. That’s it, then. Alice is out of the audio-video club. Number of pictures on the wall of…
It’s Girl Scout Cookie Time, bitches! I heard them say it on the radio, so it must be true. And it is! If you go to the Girl Scout cookies website, you can type in your ZIP code and they will tell you exactly how many minutes and miles you…
This week, the Cheap Bastard heads to Korea town looking for some soup at La Hanbat Sul Lung Tang, 2257 Royal Lane, 972-484-2002. That’s why she told us she was there, anyhow. We’re sure her visit had nothing to do with any “modeling” studios in the neighborhood. Mostly sure. Total…
Once a month or so, we invite a new lucky soul to attempt to conquer The Box. Their challenge: To create something awesome out of whatever ingredients are in the box. It’s like Chopped plus Punk’d, only less terrible. This month, Trailercakes attempts to save Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, we accidentally sent her and Scott Reitz to try the burgers at Stackhouse, 2917 Gaston Ave., 214-828-1330. They both liked the joint. They both also, we suspect,…
Welcome to the return of The Box. Last time, The Grape’s Brian C. Luscher turned our box of crap into a badass quail egg terrine. This time the cupcakers at Trailercakes will get a chance to turn a box of WTF into something wonderful. Here’s the challenge, as I sent…
Starbucks is raising their prices, y’all. I had no idea brown water could cost as much as it already does, and now they’re raising the price? This is a bunch of bologna sandwich. The Wall Street Journal says that the change “raises the cost of a ‘tall,’ or 12-ounce, coffee…
Every week I try to find a lunch in Dallas that’s less than ten bucks. (Of course, empty parking lots, barred windows, cash only and misspelled menu items are always a plus.) Not every meal I discover is delicious, but they’re all memorable. Here were my five most memorable Cheap…
My favorite New Year’s Eve tradition comes from my friend, Andy. One New Year’s Eve a long, long time ago, Andy’s step dad created the best tradition since drinking beer always. The story goes that Andy’s step dad (let’s call him Badass McAwesometown), Badass McAwesometown, was left at home unsupervised…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she’s at home with the other renegades at El Rincon de Villa, 6867 Greenville Ave., 214-891-9954. Number of people eating lunch when I was there: 10 Parking…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she’s full of sugar at Sweet Sue Diner, 3813 Bird St., 469-734-1864. At least, we think it was sugar. Something beginning with an “S” anyhow. Other times…
We all know that Dallas chefs are great at cheffing. So we thought it might be fun to give them a chance to show off their chef creativity and skills with a new challenge we’ll be calling “The Box.” Once a month or so, we’ll invite a new lucky soul…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she haunts Raul’s Corral, 200 Corinth St., 214-428-4500. Her mind wasn’t blown by the food, but it was kind of nicely felt up. Times I wondered if…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she rolls the dice at Royal Wok, 2560 Royal Lane, 972-488-8282, and doesn’t crap out. At least not right away. Massage parlors nearby count: 18 Waterfall mural…
Advent calendars are cool. They help you remember the current date, sometimes they have chocolate in them and they help you count down to Christmas Day (which is known to be one of the greatest holidays ever). This Advent calendar is obviously way better than those other ones, though, because…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she finds the man of her dreams at La Victoria, 1605 N Haskell Ave., 214-827-0101. Dinosaur toy guarding the barbed wire fence count: 1 Times I’ve driven…
Known: Thanksgiving is one of the best food holidays ever. So, where do the other 99 holidays we could think of rank? We’re so glad you asked. 1. Day After Thanksgiving: All the food, none of the family. Plus you get Leftovers Sandwiches. Choose to deny that this is the…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she goes gluten-free at Company Café, 2217 Greenville Ave. Spice rack wall art count: 1 Stroller count: 451 Company Café on Greenville Avenue is for high-maintenance yuppies…
It’s getting cold outside and that means one horrible, awful, nasty thing: It’s meatloaf season again. Not sure if you know the origin of meatloaf, but it was invented hundreds of hundreds of years ago by other horrible cooks. The following is the two-step process for making your own meatloaf:…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she cuts the cheese at Scardello Artisan Cheese, 3511 Oak Lawn Ave., and we hope we mean that literally. Level of fancy I felt eating prosciutto and…
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she checked out the Mama Faye’s, 2933 Commerce St. They serve meat, lots of dead animal flesh, which Alice loves so much, we’re starting to worry she’s…
The city of Austin’s clothing smelled like delicious, delicious barbecue all the live long day on Sunday. The Second Annual Texas Monthly BBQ Festival was stinking up that town something awesome. And if you weren’t there to sample brisket, ribs and sausage from over 20 different Texas barbecue joints, you…
