Dear Mexican: Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed because of the illegals, or is he lying? Cabrónes No Necesitamos Dear CNN: Dobbs is right to a certain point, and only in spite of his idiocy. The father of two…

Dear Mexican: I need some advice. My wife (who’s a half-Mexican L.A. native, just so you don’t think we’re a couple of white hipster dickheads) and myself (who’s white, but an immigrant, so I hope that lowers my dickhead factor) have had it up to our orejas with our Hispanic…

Dear Mexican: Many of my friends think I’m loco for playing with my dad the way I do. See, mi padre is retired and living in Mexico and is worried that I am now 30 and not married, so he wants me to go back to where he lives to…

Dear Readers: Behold your favorite Mexican’s annual Christmas gift guide, where I give shout-outs to some of my favorite books that deserve your money this holiday season! And for once, I won’t recommend my books — ¡Ask a Mexican!, Orange County: A Personal History and Taco USA: How Mexican Food…

Dear Mexican: Why is it that many Mexican women hate on me for having a Korean novia? We go to the store and I get looks. We go to the movies and people look or say things like “Mira la chinita.” I get looks from Asian people as well, but…

Dear Mexican: In President Bush’s State of the Union address, he reiterated a need for a guest worker program. What is your opinion of such a program? UNA GUERITA POR UN MUNDO SIN MUROS Dear Gabachita for a World Without Border Walls: Sorry I’m answering your question — what, five…

Dear Mexican: My granddaughters were born and raised in Georgia, as was their father. Their knowledge of their culture is zero, and I have tried to educate them by talking to them and even writing a book of my life growing up in New Mexico. I even encouraged them to…

Dear Mexican: Lately, I’ve noticed a few bands, como Voodoo Glow Skulls, have embraced ska music both at home and in Mexico. I was curious what the appeal is for Mexicans. Also, if you had to turn people to Mexican ska, what would be your top five recommendations? TOMMY MILAGROS…

Dear Mexican: When are the racial minorities going to give up la causa? We have a black man for el presidente, and as a white middle-aged male, I couldn’t be happier. I have been hearing all of my life about how oppressed the racial minorities have been and what needs…

Dear Mexican: After a year in Spain, I speak more-than-decent Spanish, and I want to get a job in the nonprofit field where I can put it to use. Thing is, my Spanish is pretty peninsular. I maintained my seseo, thank God, but people have told me I have un…

Dear Mexican: Why is it that every Mexican I know refuses to eat chocolate? My in-laws drink things I wouldn’t clean my carburetor in. They fill their piñatas with every kind of hard candy — but no chocolate! Mole doesn’t count. It has chocolate, sure, but chocolate held in check…

Dear Mexican: As a college educated Mexican-American, I had my fair share of Chicanas in college … all of whom my jefita considered putas. But now that I graduated, I’m going out with a gabacha for the first time. She’s nice, bilingual, tall, skinny, educated and a liberal with liberal…

Dear Readers: The Mexican must take the week off because his home paper is publishing its annual Best Of issue. To honor our Best Of, here’s a doozy from 2006. This infamous edición got a man in Oregon suspended from work without pay for racism AND sexual harassment because he…

Dear Mexican: Why do so many Chicanos claim to be Aztec? CHICANO STUCK IN LEAVENWORTH Dear Chicano: You’re right. The beaner love for everything Aztec mostly stems from the Chicano Movement, which appropriated various Mexican iconography to make a long-vanquished culture their own during an era when they were searching…

Hey mojado: Since when do you think it’s OK to fuck up the facts of your wretched culture and concentrate on the few who have done something with their lives? For the most part, Mexicans are perverted, short, dark, little disgusting animals. You fit into that category. They shit out…

Dear Mexican: Why do gabachos always feel the need to talk about money or trips they have taken? I always notice this when I am at any restaurant, like they don’t have nada más de que hablar. They make a point to speak loudly for everybody to hear. La Prieta…

Dear Mexican: Is it just me, or has what to call our friends from south of the border become a partisan issue? While taking in both political conventions, I noticed that Republicans invariably use the word “Hispanics” while Democrats are far more likely to say “Latino/a.” Is there some nefarious…

Dear Mexican: I know that most Hispanics in the United States are in favor of the DREAM Act, but what if this is a setup by the feds for a sting operation? It appears that our president will do anything to pander to the Hispanic vote. I’m wondering what could…

Dear Mexican: What is the reason for the colors of the Mexican flag? Is there any razón it resembles the Italian flag, minus the águila y serpent? El Girafe Dear Male Giraffe Gabacho: What’s now the Mexican tricolor is technically older than the Italian tricolore — although Italian kingdoms had…

Dear Mexican: I was in a taco shop in the bathroom stall and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass wipe, I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be foreshadowed by the fact that you and all the dark-skinned…

Dear Readers: The Mexican is currently smuggling mescal out of Oaxaca and into hipster bars nationwide, and thus gives you two oldies-but-goodies. Dear Mexican: It seems that whenever Chicano professors want to show off their mexicanidad, they wear a guayabera. In fact, I saw a picture of you in the…

Dear Mexican: So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd at some point starts chanting “¡Cu-le-ro!” (“Ass-hole!”). Why does the crowd yell “Cu-le-ro” at a band that they seemingly adore? Need Más Earplugs Dear Pocho: “People yelling ‘Cu-le-ro’ doesn’t happen at every concert,”…