Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American high school student, and just as patriotic as the Joneses who live next to me. In my neighborhood, a gabacho got mad when someone hung a Mexican flag and ended up cutting it down. I think this whole idea of putting one’s flag up and…
Dear Mexican: I know I might sound like a gabacho borracho, but I’m really just a gringo trying to make progress toward getting work legally in Mexico, a side of the immigration debate we rarely hear about. Most gringos who move to Mexico are students at UNAM or retired people…
Dear Mexican: I was wondering about the Spanish going into Mexico and taking the gold and artifacts away from the Indians. Could the Mexican government ask for the gold back? Raider of the Lost Chonis Why doesn’t Mexico’s president demand that all nations and/or entities return stolen artifacts taken from…
Dear Mexican: Magdalena has worked for me many years. She came over as a mojada with her two little girls when they were 4 and 6. The girls went to school but only until middle school because they are undocumented; they can’t get a job or a bank account or…
DEAR MEXICAN: Suppose the United States were as progressive and conscious of our country’s true self-interest as are, for example, many European countries; and suppose this had been true in the decades immediately following World War II, when Northern and Western Europe subsidized the development of southern European nations. If…
Dear Mexican: Barrack Hussein Obama, how you dare deprive Mexico of its young, educated people? These illegal aliens in the United States are the only hope for Mexico, and you want to keep them here. They could start businesses, create jobs and improve the standard of living for the people…
Dear Mexican: In anticipation of the upcoming Reconquista, I’ve decided that I need a Mexican girlfriend. I feel this will help me fit in better with our new Mexican overlords. However, Mexican ladies must be approached with particular regard to culture and customs, and that raises many questions. A well-known…
Dear Mexican: I’m in this country illegally, but I have a current passport from the country I am from, and I have an international driver’s license. Occasionally, I fly commercially within the United States, and these docs are always sufficient. I wish to take a cruise to Alaska that leaves…
A couple of years back, I put four white supremacists in prison. They had made the mistake of going into the Slater Slums of Huntington Beach, the city’s traditional barrio, to kill a random Mexican. They got as far as stabbing a man before the Slater Slums smackdown began: The…
Dear Mexican: I work construction in Texas. The mojados at work call me “Chicano” (which really angers me) to make fun of me, and I reply to them by saying, “¡México, bien por su gente!” This usually leads to debates that the Hispanic population will be the majority of the…
Dear Mexican: Why can’t the United States and Mexico agree on just one name for the Rio Bravo/Grande river? And I don’t understand why the Americans lo dice in español? —Marfa Maven Dear Wabette: The Mexican is a Californian by the grace of God so doesn’t dare tread the intellectual…
Dear Mexican: I was wondering why Mexicans in Chicago are meaner than Mexicans in California. —Pinche Caliente Gabacha Dear Fucking Hot-Ass Gabacha: Mexicans in Chicago, mean? In my many visits to the Windy Ciudad, I’ve found them to be a wonderful, hospitable raza, with their only real vice being they’re…
I usually don’t allow anyone to hijack this columna, but an exception must be made for California State Assembly member Gil Cedillo. He’s been fighting the good fight for decades, recently trying to get driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants and ceaselessly supporting DREAMers. Cedillo was so moved by the undocumented…
BUY TACO USA! Gentle cabrones, my much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America has finally hit bookstores! Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas! Dear Mexican: I’m getting sick and tired of all these dirty, stupid Mexicans running around. The first…
Dear Mexican: I am a 20-year-old tall, slender, blonde Jewish Russian-American. He is a 24-year-old short, muscular Mexican. At face value, you would never think we would work well, but we do. He is never down, always smiling and positive while I worry. However, I noticed he is the most…
Dear Mexican: How come there are a bunch of fair-skinned European-looking guys running Mexico? When I am in Mexico, I see them having power lunches in fine restaurants, driving Beemers and escorting absolutely breathtaking women with long legs and high cheekbones around town. Who are these guys? How can I…
BUY TACO USA! Gentle cabrones: My much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America has finally hit bookstores! Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas. And stay tuned for book signing info! Why do Mexicans with lowriders have murals on their hoods…
Dear Mexican: Why do Hispanics deny that George Zimmerman is Hispanic? He did nothing wrong and has been crucified in the media. La Raza cannot bow down to the race baiters and race traitors that call themselves African-American leaders! —Brown and Down Dear Wab: This column is ¡Ask a Mexican!,…
Dear Readers: Nearly four years after promising ustedes that I was going to write a book about the history of Mexican food in the United States, my Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America is getting released this week! April 10! Three-hundred-plus pages of astounding history (did you know the…
Dear Mexican: Stop using Spanish in your column. I like reading your column, but when every other word is in Spanish, I don’t know what the hell is going on. It makes you sound like that nerdy kid who uses big words to try and sound impressive. Don’t be lazy,…
Dear Mexican: I was born in los estados unidos, my father is Tamaulipas and my mother is a third-generation Chicana. Being married to a mexicano, we recently vacationed in his hometown of Apatzingan, Michoacán. It was my first time meeting my in-laws and everyone from his colonia. It seems I…
Dear Mexican: I work for a major news organization and often have heard the figure of 10 million illegal Mexicans. Unofficially, I have been quoted the number 20 to 25 million illegals, most of them not Mexican. Why the focus on the Mexicans? They are far less alien than the…
