Dear Mexican: I’m so perplexed by my Mexican neighbor. For one, he already has four girls, and I just saw his wife — and she looks like she’s pregnant AGAIN! What really bothers me is that I live in an affordable housing unit. The rent is cheap and based on…

Dear Mexican: Aunqué soy Boricua, mi corazón está al lado del pueblo mejicano, aquí en Arizona. ¿Porqué no hablas contra “La Bruja Mala del Oeste” Gobernadora Jan Brewer, “El Leon Cobarde” Ex-Senador Russell Pearce, “El Hombre Hecho de Lata” Alguacil del Condado Maricopa Joe Arpaio, “El Hombre Hecho de Paja”…

Dear Mexican: I’ve tried and failed to learn the Spanish language for the last two years. Last year, I visited a Spanish-speaking church to help immerse myself in the language, but only understood about 10 percent of the message. Also, I tried to watch the available Spanish channels at home,…

Dear Mexican: This question was inspired by the recent video you did on the Republicanos and the Latina/o vote. What’s your opinion of Cuban-American and Tea Party cariñito Marco Rubio? All this talk about him being the “Hispanic” savior of the Republican Party by being the vice-presidential nominee is getting…

Dear Mexican: My family for six generations have been born and raised in Brownsville, Texas. Right now, almost every Republican in the state is trying to work redistricting to cut out the bumper crop of Mexican-American candidates. They passed voter ID laws recently, and you begin to get the idea…

Dear Mexican: It’s so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream about fixing…

Dear Readers: I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republic presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed — namely, that he’s half-Mexican. The lamestream media is treating this as a revelation — never…

Dear Mexican: How come Mexicans don’t perform in the Winter Olympics? No talent? Or are Mexicans afraid of snow? I’m thinking both. Also, Mexicans don’t do too well in the Summer Olympics, either. They even suck in soccer. There is plenty of snow in Mexico, so don’t use that excuse…

Dear Mexican: In my hometown of Playa Larga (Long Beach, California), natives refer to a major avenida, Junipero Avenue, as Juan-a-pear-o. There is no “Juan” in Junipero, but that’s how everyone in this town pronounces it. I even heard a former mayor pronounce it that way. Why do white Americans…

Dear Readers: In between your 15th tamale and sixth spiked cup of ponche, you’re going to have to buy regalos for Christmas or whatever pinche holiday you celebrate. OK, you don’t have to, but you should, to support all those great indie businesses suffering during this Great Recession. Behold, then,…

Dear Mexican: Much has been said about the terrible things happening to the United States and its citizens at the hands of Mexican drug cartels. But what’s the difference between the modern-day cartels and the Big Four of the period between 1492 and 1775? I refer you to the kings…

Dear Mexican: I read in your book that Mexico is due for a revolution about every 100 years or so. Do you think the drug war presently being fought between the cartels and the Mexican government is actually just a revolution being funded by drug money? —The Ugly American Dear…

Dear Mexican: Having been called a “gabacho” by “Mexicans” much lighter than I and “wetback” by those whose parents (or themselves) crossed several rivers as they migrated west to California, I’m curious as to which group you believe I should hold in the greatest disdain. While Anglo wetbacks are much…

Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes. Those in the United States for two or fewer years would be expelled. Those in the country for two to…

Dear Mexican: Why is Mexico such a dump? Just to name a few of the problems: stray dogs running all over the place, piles of trash burning in the street, blown-out tires hanging from cactus by the side of the road, shredded plastic shopping bags plastering every fence, rampant corruption…

Dear Mexican: I am an Anglo intruder in New Mexico. When I moved to Albuquerque from Virginia, I fell in love with Mexican culture. I was impressed at what I called “Southwestern hospitality.” To me, the words “laid back” or “easy going” describe perfectly the people I’ve met, in New…

Dear Mexican: These days, using the word “nigger” is considered so offensive that we now use the term “N-word” in its place. Of course, never mind that African-Americans use it amongst themselves as a term of endearment, pero esa es una historia para un otro dia. Sin embargo, it raises…

Dear Mexican: There’s something I am concerned about, or bothered by. I was born and raised in Mexico, but I’ve been here for eight years. All the talk about 9/11 is too much, because every single year brings a rehash of the tragedy. I really think that remembering the event…

Dear Mexican: Really? You answered “When Should You Use Usted Instead of Tú?” recently over my “Why Won’t My Gardener Fuck Me Again If I Demand an HIV Test?” Any sad gabacho can Google for grammar tips (no offense to Yo Quiero Hablar). Meanwhile, we clueless gabachas need to know…

Dear Readers: The Mexican doesn’t want to take this week off, but has to because it’s his mother periódico’s Best Of issue and the Mexican is tasked with eating a thousand tacos in the search for the best one in Orange County. I’ll return next week, more panzón than ever…

Dear Mexican: I learned Spanish in school as a teen. Then, it seems, because I was young, everybody was an usted. I would like to practice speaking it, but am now an adult and don’t know who gets to be a tú. I’m scared of getting it wrong and unwittingly…

Dear Mexican: I hear that at the last Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors hearing about redistricting, some lady accused Supervisor Gloria Molina of Reconquista. What is that — and what on earth is going on over there? I don’t get what all the fuss is about. The U.S. Census…