What’s the deal with all the Mexican song lyrics about lágrimas and llorando? We all know most Mexican men are más machos dudes and all that, so why all the songs about tears and crying? Even if a gabacho cries, he doesn’t try to advertise it and certainly does not…

Dear Mexican: I’m totally serious about my e-mail, so please forgive me if my question sounds ridiculous. I also mean no insult to anyone about my question or questions in this e-mail. There are a lot of antsy/jittery people along the United States’ southern border. Lots of those antsy people…

Dear Mexican: I was a history major at the University of Arizona in Tucson, which I believe was part of the Gadsden Purchase, the last piece of old Mexico the U.S. “acquired.” That got me thinking: What was the citizenship status of all Mexicans/gringos who lived in parts of Mexico…

Dear Mexican: I’m not the type to let things slide when I see something that strikes me as ignorant, no matter who it is. When my friend’s mom posted jokes on Facebook about Mexicans, and her friends popped up with comments I felt were racist, I just had to step…

Dear Mexican: What is it with the Mexican hang-up on body parts? When General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was struck by a cannonball at the knee in one of his 8,000 wars, his right leg was removed from the knee down. When he returned to Mexico City, he ordered…

Dear Mexican: Mexico is truly an amazing, beautiful country! Huge oil reserves, mineral deposits second to none, tourist potential unparalleled! God gave Mexico every possible advantage. And yet the Mexicans, in all their wisdom and intellect, have turned it into a backwater, undeveloped narco-ruled Third World cesspool of corruption and…

Dear Mexican: I understand NYC isn’t your jurisdiction, but maybe you have some insight, or maybe this is also a problem for other smart and successful Latinas. My question is: Why is it so hard to find an educated Mexican—or hell—even a Latino man who isn’t a pretentious hijo de…

Dear Mexican: What punishment could America give that would FINALLY make crossing America’s borders—repeatedly—unpalatable to Mexicans, when even Mexican natives admit that it is at least as harmful to Mexico as it is to America, and the “needless paperwork” in our immigration process is to TRY to filter out habitual…

Dear Mexican: I work at a large hotel in Orange County where 80 percent of the employees are Latin American, primarily Mexican. I love all of them and enjoy working with them. However, the one thing that bothers me is that when they are speaking to each other, they speak…

Dear Readers: ¡VIVA MÉXICO, CABRONES! Happy 200th cumpleaños to America’s favorite country, to the land of pretty señoritas and eternal economic crises, to the world’s greatest, drunkest bola de hijos de la chingada! Celebrate this 16th, drive safe, and guys: Remember to wear a helmet before going into battle with…

Dear Mexican: I’m a naturalized citizen born in Ciudad Juarez but I work for la migra. I get a lot of shit from some of my family members because they feel I shouldn’t be doing this job. I always tell them that it’s better I got the job rather than…

Dear Mexican: Oye, I’m a Mexican con un pie aquí y un pie allá, and I have to admit that it is difficult to be a Mexican these days. I’d like to make the argument that it is one of the worst times ever to be a Mexican. I even…

Dear Readers: As you read this, my trusty burro, pigtailed chica and I are crisscrossing Aztlán researching Mexican food. So now is as bueno as any time to do some housecleaning for the columna. Hay que start with a letter from the Mexican’s longtime amigo, William Lobdell. For years one…

Dear Mexican: As a proud New Yorker, I gotta ask: What the FUCK is up with Mexican food in this city? Sure, we’re used to getting owned by California and Texas and even Chicago when it comes to getting kick-ass, cheap, regional Mexican food. But I just got back from…

Dear Mexican: I am a retired gringa living in Mazatlán, Sinaloa. Most of us foreigners here are liberal and sympathetic to the immigration problem, which the U.S. Congress refuses to address in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, I get lots of e-mails from acquaintances “apprising” me of the horrible situation in…

Dear Mexican: As an old gringo who calls himself a gringo (not a gabacho), I study Mexican culture and ask myself, “Where have I seen this before?” The answer invariably is: 1950s America, that’s where. Current Mexican culture in the United States is about 50 years behind current American culture…

Dear Mexican: I heard Mormonism is a quickly spreading religion down in ye olde Mexico. What is it about this religion that a lot of Mexicans find so fascinating? —Jack Mormón Dear Gabacho: Historically? Mexico has long had the second-largest community of Mormons in the world after the United States—official…

Dear Mexican: Most Mexicans I know (myself included) feel it’s a terrible disrespect to keep old photos around of you and your ex, and vice versa. I’d never keep around pictures of myself and an ex to try and push my new/current boyfriend’s buttons; I guess I feel it’s a…

Dear Mexican: I’m a (poor) white girl myself, but I have to ask: What’s the deal with all the rich white girls playing such a big role in Fiesta? Why is it always rich white girls that get crowned? Don’t you think the majority of them should be Mexican girls…

Dear Readers: The Arizona pendejas have emboldened hundreds of Know Nothings in the past week to boast to the Mexican that they’re not racist if they support SB 1070 because, according to them, they believe in the law, and they have no problems with immigrants as long as they’re legal…

Dear Mexican: Why do the Mexicans HATE American soccer and HATE (bolded, underlined and italicized) Landon Donovan? —Uncle Sam’s Army Brat Dear Gabacho: Because Mexicans hate Americans—DUH! Geez, this is the literary equivalent of taking a penalty kick at this year’s FIFA World Cup with no goaltender—but I also want…