Fedoras and $12 Drinks Don’t Make the Bar

It’s a relatively quiet Wednesday night at Deep Ellum’s newest watering hole, Swallow Lounge (double entendre or just a hastily chosen name? You be the judge). I take a seat at the empty bar lined with bright red vinyl stools. Above the bar, back-lit swallows — those little birds that…

Coconut Water Tastes Like Bed Bath & Beyond

In 2009 the New York Times ran an article describing a trend taking over the city. Various shops were selling young coconuts, with undeveloped shells, liberated of their tops and served with drinking straws. “I think it’s stylish, it’s pretty,” said a Brooklyn shop owner who was selling cases of…

Sprinkles is Giving Away Cupcakes Tonight

Cupcakes! Cupcakes, cupcakes, buzzword, cupcakes. Sprinkles is extending its hours, and to celebrate, the cupcake conglomerate is giving away free cupcakes. Or cupcake, singular, to be specific. Tonight only, every pancreas at The Plaza at Preston Center will be given one free cupcake of its choice from 8 to 9…

The Sad State of the Dallas Doughnut

Like many food writers I’m sure, I’ve been watching Pulitzer-winning Jonathan Gold’s transition from the LA Weekly to the Los Angeles Times closely. The death of the star system at the daily publication has gotten a lot of attention, too, but it’s Gold’s first blog post that has invoked deep…

Doritos Locos Tacos Spur a New Level Of Food Shame

I was hoping that eating a Doritos flavored taco would inspire a few grafs of humorous prose, but instead it just spurred sorrow. Now, sitting at my desk after enduring my arterial assault, I feel depressed. I won’t call Taco Bell’s creation good or bad. It tastes exactly like what…

An Open Letter To The Grilled Chicken Sandwich

Dear Grilled Chicken Sandwich, You suck. I mean you really, really suck. I’m not just picking on The Blackfriar’s version pictured above — the McKinney Avenue pub just happened to be the unlucky subject of this food critic’s rant — I’m talking about all grilled chicken sandwiches everywhere. All of…

Who’s Eating All This Steak?

Steak steak steak steak steak steak steak. The Dallas Morning News published a Pavlovian steakhouse slideshow the other day, with pictures and a link to a story published two summers ago that ranked Dallas’ best steakhouses. There are some sexy shots in that slideshow, but they invoked deja vu: D…

The Worst of A-List Dallas’ Best List

A-List Dallas recently published this list, called the “BEST of CityVoter Dallas A-List,” which is a confusing name for a list, but that’s beside my point. The point is, after all the nitpicking we let you guys do of Scott’s top five lists, we figured we’d take a crack. Let’s…

Double Meat, Double Cheese, Double Duped

I’ll admit it. I’m a burger snob. I LOVE when a fancy steakhouse serves up blissful beef on a house-baked bun, with gorgeous fries and interesting, scratch-made condiments. Not that I always want to shell out a Jackson for true bovinity — humble burgers are great too. But I get…

Guilty Pleasures Unmasked: In Which We Review Chili’s Chicken Crispers

Everyone holds dear a few suspect dishes from their past, usually from questionable chain restaurants. Because we like to watch him suffer, Scott will occasionally review those foods. This week: Chili’s Chicken Crispers, a long-lost love of Observer editor Joe Tone. I’ve had chicken tenders maybe eight times in my…

BREAKING: It’s Not National Tater Tot Day

When I came in this morning, my editor asked me if I wanted to write about National Tater Tot Day. Why wouldn’t I? We’ve already blogged about National Margarita Day, Pie Day, Tequila Day, and a boatload of other bullshit holidays. Why not give people a half-ass excuse to stuff…

This Super Bowl Sunday, Just Say No To Chicken Wing Delivery

The Super Bowl is coming, which means everyone must think about, write about, talk about and prepare for the egregious consumption of chicken wings. It’s a damn shame because most of the wings consumed during the big game will totally blow. I blame these guys for fucking up chicken wings…

I Miss You, Restaurant Matchbooks

There’s a large glass container filled with matchbooks in my apartment. Actually they’re in a big Ziploc bag because I’m too lazy to unpack them, but I used to have them out in a big glass bowl on a table in my living room. I’d use them like most people…

A Sushi Roll Goes to Space (Video)

A Washington, DC-based sushi chain recently released a promotional video about shooting a sushi roll into space. Getting sushi into the stratosphere should be easy enough. A weather balloon was used to take a chair into space for a very similar commercial. Still, the video seemed a little fishy. I…