You wanna start the day off stuffing your face with unholy goodness? Welcome to the breakfast of your fantasies, folks. This place is wall-to-wall people “I’ll have what she’s having” food-moaning, like something straight out of a “Sodom and Gomorrah: Breakfast!” Order the deliciousness in the photo and say to…
Nick Cannon, who you probably remember from I’m Mariah Carey’s Husband, Mariah Carey’s My Wife And You’re Totally Jealous and Mariah: The Old Lady I Boink is coming to Arlington Improv to do some stand-up comedy. He’s also been in some lesser-known works like Men In Black II, Drumline and…
Recently, I heard rumors of a restaurant named Burger Island. The name brought to mind images of a land far, far away where everything’s made of burger parts: The trees are burger trees that grow half-pound burgers year-round, there’s a ketchup river and a field made of French fries, and…
At 8 p.m. (or 10:30 p.m.) Friday see Hal Sparks perform his stand-up act, Charmageddon, at the Arlington Improv, 309 Curtis Mathes Way, Suite 147. You might remember Hal from the time he spent hosting Talk Soup, or from those five seasons he was on that show Queer As Folk,…
Lean Cuisine tastes like butt covered in butt cheese. I’d rather go on the Mary Kate & Ashley Let’s Look Dead Together Anorexia Diet than put that nasty shit in my face hole. When you microwave Lean Cuisine at work, you ought to be able to do a mercy flush…
I thought there couldn’t possibly be a more ladyparts-sounding restaurant name in Dallas when Rusty Taco opened. And then I heard about Fuzzy’s Taco Shop. Of course they specialize in fish tacos. Walk inside and you’ll be way late making all the ‘gina jokes: The owners already beat you to…
Franklin Barbecue 3421 N. I-35, Austin 512-653-1187 Hours: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Wednesday-Sunday (or until sold out) All the food trailers on South Congress Avenue in Austin are awesome and delicious and all, but they’ve become super touristy. We love the food, but there’s something too squeaky-clean about the shiny Airstreams…
The words “beer tasting” and “opera” don’t find themselves together very often. But when they do, it’s a super good time. Especially when the Dallas Opera’s doing the opera-ing and The Londoner’s doing the beer-ing. From 4 to 6 p.m. Sunday, the Dallas opera hosts a beer tasting at The…
Driving down Northwest Highway, I saw the sign that says, “Donuts, Subs, Bagels,” and underneath, on the marquee, it says, “Chicken.” Bitch, I ain’t no chicken! I ordered the BLT (super standard, nothin’ fancy about it), plus fries (steak fries = win) and a drink (A Diet Pepsi that exploded…
Dallas Farmers Market 1010 South Pearl Expressway 214-939-2808 Try: La Popular tamales Don’t try: Eating bath fizzies Obviously, if you go to the Dallas Farmers Market this summer you should pick up some Texas peaches, some tomatoes and any other fresh fruits and veggies your heart desires. But, while you’re…
Try: Rat Bastard root beer Don’t try: spending less than 10 bucks here I was on a mission to find Henry Weinhard’s root beer. I know that some shmancy grocery stores in town sell six-packs, but they’re always sold out by the time I get there (because Weinhard’s is the…
Some of Texas artist Bert Long’s work looks like Napoleon Dynamite’s doodles, only better. So, there’s a bunch of tigers and vaginas, only they’re way more realistic. Lately, he’s inspired by Carl Jung’s private journal entitled The Red Book. Jung Center board members are calling Long’s new body of work…
I get lost all the fucking time. Yes, I have GPS in my car and yes, I still fuck it up. Anyway, getting lost is sometimes fortunate, because I discover lunch places I wouldn’t have otherwise. On this episode of Where The Stink Am I?, my friend and I came…
Miyavi performs at House of Blues this weekend. And if the Internet videos are anything close to what the Dallas show’s going to be like, bring your fangirl-scream-canceling headphones. Miyavi is a J-rock (Japanese rock) artist participating in the Visual Kei movement (which basically means he looks like Gwen Stefani…
Hiding behind the Potbelly at Preston Road and Forest Lane is a delicious little slice of hell. And at this time, Torchy’s, I’d like to reserve myself a permanent table. Straight outta Austin, this taqueria is here to blow your mind-eria. I paid between $3.25 and $3.75 per taco, which…
Independence Day is coming up and you’re in charge of bringing dessert to the office potluck, the familyfest or the epic drinkathon with your friends. Screw making a flag cake. Instead, assert your right to pursue happiness — lazy = happy in our book — and bring one of these…
Flavors From Afar 6712 Snider Plaza 214-696-2327 Try: Conte Pucci Della Genga extra virgin olive oil (now 50 percent off) Don’t try: leaving without taste-testing something We were out of extra virgin olive oil. (No, I don’t mean E.V.O.O. I will never abbreviate that shit. You say, “E.V.O.O.,” I deliver…
As a countdown to the Dallas Observer’s “Best of Dallas” 2010, City of Ate is serving up 100 of the favorite dishes we crave, savor and hope to scarf down again soon. These dishes are in no particular order. Some are little known, others celebrated. Some are pricey, others can…
From 6:30 to 9 p.m. Tuesday make the drive out to the Fort Worth Central Market Cooking School, 4561 West Freeway, for Cooking With Beer-American Classics. The class will be taught by Joe Synatschk, who’s a sous chef at Screen Door, a home brew expert and a guy whose last…
Fuel City is over-hyped. Yeah, I said it. At a little over a dollar per taco, the food here is cheap, sure. But the tacos are just good. Not “MIND-BLOWING!” or “AMAAAAZING!!” like I heard they were going to be. I’m not kidding—everyone I know who’s been to Fuel City…
Beef Jerky Outlet 4441 Bass Pro Drive #500 Garland 972-203-2337 Try: cherry cheesecake popcorn Don’t try: Buffalo Bob’s kangaroo jerky In Garland out by the Bass Pro, there’s a beef jerky outlet creatively named Beef Jerky Outlet. There, you’ll find a beef jerky shop clearly created by someone who jerks…
Counting calories and looking for a healthy alternative to fast food? Then don’t show your face in this joint. The food at this standing-room-only spot is all artery-clogging, all the time. And God bless it. Food takes a minute to prepare, but it’s oh so worth it. And hey, while…
