Lunch specials: Monday-Friday $5.95 TVs playing soap operas: 2 Guy walking around asking if everything’s OK and refilling my Kool-Aid: 1 South Dallas Café has a big sign outside that says, “No Panhandling. No Loitering. No Soliciting. No Trespassing.” So I went inside instead. I knew they offered a bunch…
Lunch special: Burger, fries and a drink for $7.85 People in line in front of me: 15 Number of french fries in one order of french fries: 572 A fan of Mooyah recommended that I test it out, so with high expectations, I did. Almost completely distracted by the fact…
Can’t sing? Can’t read? Have I got the event for you: From 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday, drive out to Frisco-oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-people-actually-live-this-far-from-civilization, get up onstage and wail into a microphone to PlayStation 2’s SingStar (their newest karaoke videogame in which you get to sing along with the chart-topping music of…
UNT is performing a modern version of Antigone. And I can’t wait. Antigone’s gonna overdose on TrimSpa at the end of the play when she thinks Creon has refused to DJ a proper HipHopera memorial service for Polynices (but then we find out that he was totally willing to DJ…
Lunch: Dog and a drink for $6.33 Times employees resist making hot dog/dick jokes a day count: 1,000 Times employees make hot dog/dick jokes a day count: 1,000 As I was waiting for the Condom Sense on Lower Greenville Avenue to open so I could purchase a dildo (which I…
From 7 p.m. until 10 p.m. Saturday, bring your snooty nostrils and your uppity taste buds to WineFest at the Addison Conference Center, 15650 Addison Road, benefiting The 500 Inc. (a volunteer group that supports local arts organizations). There’ll be lots of wine and food from Blue Mesa, Clay Pit,…
If you wear Wranglers, would you please buy the next size up? Seriously, dudes. I know you think “the Ladies” like the way those jeans look when they’re all tight, but they’re cutting off your circulation, which can’t be good for your sperm count and might mean you can’t reproduce—wait—I…
Did you see Pan’s Labyrinth? Holy out of nowhere with the stabbing the guy in the face with the broken bottle, right? And that no-eyeballs-filling-his-eyeholes monster with the creepy eyehands was easily up there in the Top 10 Freaking Scariest Movie Bad Guys Ever (I wonder if Michael Jackson is…
Lunch special: three tacos, rice, beans and a drink for $6.16 Cashier yelling at her cook in Spanish count: 1 Tables and chairs indoors count: 0 I was driving down Ross Avenue a few days ago, and the lunch special signage at Tacos Y Mas taco/burger stand at Ross and…
When Halloween rolls around, I’m more of a get-drunk-and-wear-a-stupid-costume person than a go-scare-my-balls-off person. And, I’ve been that way since I was a kid and my mom handed me my first Halloweentini. But, if you like all of that gory, chainsawing, running upstairs when some dude is trying to kill…
Wednesday Lunch Special: $6.39 for a meat, a veggie, a roll and a drink. Add a peach cobbler for a buck. Corona bottles filled with barbecue sauce and sitting on a warmer count: 30 Guy yelling your name when your food’s up count: 1 Free pickle bar count: 1 In…
Lunch special: Every Day Special, $4.99 for one slice of pizza, a salad and a soda Fake plant count: 50 Chicks in short shorts and heels count: 0 You ever been to Fireside Pies? The pizza there is outstanding. It just sucks that you’re out standing on the porch for…
There’s a 5K this weekend, and I’ll give you no guesses who’s sponsoring it. 8 a.m. Saturday, the Whataburger Dash for Dignity (a 5K run or 1 mile run, walk or roll) starts at Winfrey Point on White Rock Lake (8300 Garland Road), and you should be there. You should…
7 p.m. Friday, see Kathleen Madigan at the Lakewood Theater, 1825 Abrams Parkway. She’s not the funniest. This isn’t my opinion talking; this is a proven fact. She was on Last Comic Standing. She lost. She was not the funniest. America decided (and, with the popularity of the bastion of…
Dallas Theater Center is adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? At 7:30 p.m. Thursday, the Dallas Theater Center is presenting David Mamet’s Glengarry Glenn Ross at the Kalita Humphreys Theater, 3636…
Lunch special: Burger, fries and a drink for $6.36 Tiny, tiny building count: 1 Burgers on the grill count: 7 bazillion Either a car just backfired or that was a gun shot count: 1 Every time you drive your car through a Wendy’s, you’re cheating yourself. Every time you order…
Lunch special: No. 1 hero plus chips and a drink for $8 People behind the counter looking like they’re moving fast, but really moving kind of slowly, but at least they’re smiling count: 100 Hovering straw caddy count: 1 Empty table count: 0 Why is Jared the Subway guy still…
How do you get yourself famous? Is it necessary to sleep to the top like Oprah Winfrey’s slutty ass did? Or, is it all about being the most talented person in your field, like Brooke Hogan is in the field of Wearing Clothes That Don’’t Fit and Being Gross-Faced? What’s…
Lunch special: Wednesdays, get two beef enchiladas plus rice and beans for $4.25 or two fajita tacos plus rice and beans for $5.55 Sweet-ass wooden chair count: 50 Taco Loco Late Night Taqueria attached to the side count: 1 I recently had lunch at Taco Diner in West Village. What…
At 7:30 p.m. this Saturday, head to the Harmony in the House benefit featuring Queen Latifah at The Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. It’s the beginning of Latifah’s national tour for her new jazz album, Trav’lin’ Light (Seriously, Queen? Trav’lin’ Light? What, did the “e” and the “l” in the…
Big orange fish count: 12 Empty table count: 10 Lunch Special: $5.99 buffet Vietnam Restaurant on Bryan Street isn’t very inviting from the outside, but the sign painted on the dark window says “$5.99 buffet.” And the parking around the place is always totally filled up at lunchtime, so I…
DMB is a crippling disease that affects hundreds of thousands of people every year. Symptoms include a strong desire to learn how to play the White Blues on the guitar for your girlfriend, a penchant for smoking out at least three times a day and in rare cases, the popping…
