Dear Mexican: I’m sad that there aren’t more Mexicans here in the Detroit area. We’re one of the few areas in the country that is predominantly Catholic. We’ve welcomed wave after wave of Catholic immigrants for well more than 100 years, and they’ve intermingled and blended into our local society…

Dear Mexican: I was born in beautiful El Paso, and my parents are from Juaritos. I always wondered why Mexican restaurants en los Estados Unidos use queso amarillo—which I associate with los Estados Unidos—on their food instead of queso asadero or queso Oaxaca, which taste so much better. And who…

Dear Mexican: With a scant four weeks before I cram my mochila with a few clothes for me and a horde of presents (read: bribes) for my future cuñadas, sobrinas y mi mera suegra, I found myself terror-stricken tonight as mi novio and I watched a home video of his…

Dear Mexican: What’s the deal with Spanish-language car dealership commercials that feature bikini-clad porn star wannabes copulating with used cars? I just saw one where three girls were rubbing melted chocolate on each other. Surely, no one in mainstream Caucasian America could get away with such overtly sexual, misogynistic advertising…

Dear Mexican: Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed down because of the illegals, or is he lying? —Cabrónes No Necesitamos Dear CNN: Dobbs is right to a certain point, and only in spite of his idiocy. The father of…

Dear Mexican: I like to think that I’m an open-minded sorta guy for a teenager. I fervently oppose racial stereotypes, though I do think that they’re good for a laugh or two sometimes. I have several Mexican friends, and none of them live up to the “Mexican standard” of lawn…

Dear Mexican: How do I go to the Mexican grocery store and bakery to buy supplies for our Día de los Muertos party without looking like I’m doing the kitschy-goofy thing I’m doing? I walk up to the register and smile ingratiatingly, saying “Gracias” as usual—but a basketful of sugar…

Dear Mexican: Why do so many of my peers assume I must have low self-esteem just because I’m dating a Mexican guy? I finally found someone with my same values and who treats me way better than any gringo I ever dated. The same women who complain about “sleazy” Mexican…

Dear Mexican: What is it with the Mexican hang-up on body parts? When General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was struck by a cannon ball at the knee in one of his 8,000 wars, his right leg was removed from the knee down. When he returned to Mexico City, he…

Dear Mexican: We were in a restaurant the other day eating some refried beans and green chili when I overheard some gringos in the next booth making fun of Mexicans. One thing they said that really made me mad was, “Why do Mexicans REFRY their beans? Stupid Mexicans! Don’t they…

Dear Mexican: I’m a minority, and I know we can be overly sensitive sometimes, but I just can’t stand Carlos Mencia. Not only are his jokes asinine but I feel they are actually racist. Whereas Dave Chappelle tried to make fun of society’s racist thoughts, Mencia seems to promote them…

Dear Mexican: After the great migration of Jews to this nation, a question was posed: “How long does it take a Jew to go from being a street sweeper to becoming a corporate attorney?” The answer given was, “One generation.” Not so for Mexicans. Most Mexicans seem to recoil from…

Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in—gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with occasional commentary from the Mexican. Enjoy! If you’re half-Mexican and:…

Dear Mexican: I am addressing this to both “¡Ask a Mexican!” and “Savage Love” hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks yell for their papi during sex? —Daddy del Diablo Dear Readers: Daddy del Diablo sent the above query to both the Mexican…

Dear Mexican: A new line of Speedy Gonzales clothing came out earlier this year. As a black vendor in a predominantly Mexican market, I immediately thought about selling some of these items. I am 35 and, although I remember the cartoon coming on when I was a young kid, I…

Dear Mexican: Do you agree with immigration rights activists calling Elvira Arellano, who is an illegal immigrant AND a criminal, I might add, the Mexican Rosa Parks? The very idea that these people refer to her as such is deeply disturbing. Rosa Parks was a legal resident of this country…

Dear Readers: It’s not just questions and racist rants that invade the Mexican’s mailbox—your feedback sneaks under my digital fence también. Let’s start with Lean Like a K Street Chola, a former gangbanger-turned-lobbyist who wrote in a couple of weeks back wondering how she could explain to quizzical pals why…

Dear Mexican: I had a heated discussion in my van pool with a couple of gringos where they made a comment that immigration (both legal and illegal) needs to stop. I replied jokingly, “Then who will take our orders at McDonald’s or work in the fields?” They had the nerve…

Dear Mexican: I’ve run into a problem with my wife. I’d like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she won’t allow it. How can I convince her that’s it’s a long and honored Mexican tradition to do so? —Tejano Rick P.S.:…

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans say “¡Ojalá Dios quiere!”? Ojalá refers to Allah, the Muslim god, and Dios is the Christian god. Do Mexicans want to cover their bases and get a double blessing, or maybe they can’t make up their minds? ¿Qué pasó con los dos dioses? —White Paddy…

Dear Readers, You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after publishing my July 12 column (in which Know Nothings had their say on the failed Senate amnesty bill), ustedes bombarded the Mexican with letters expressing your disgust toward those pendejos. Space prohibits the printing of all, so let’s…