If there’s any animal that’s definitely been screwed over by mankind, it’s the turtle. We’ve polluted its habitat, stolen its eggs, caught it in fishing nets, driven some species to near extinction and, perhaps most heinously, forced it to live at the mercy of small children. The film Amphibious (Login-Logout)…

When I was a young lad, I went fishing nearly every summer on a charter boat off the coast of South Padre Island. Almost invariably, the captain of said vessel would play Jimmy Buffett cassettes during our voyage, ostensibly believing the friendly sounds of “Cheeseburger in Paradise” would draw in…

As a young acolyte of Beavis and Butt-head and Wayne’s World in the mid ’90s, I often found myself renting Dazed and Confused for its similar mix of badass jams and lowbrow humor. But when Richard Linklater’s masterpiece was already checked out, there was always The Stoned Age, the story…

Seeing a concert by the Gourds is one of those quintessential experiences that every Texas music fan should have at least once, like dancing to a fiddle tune at Gruene Hall or seeing Willie on the Fourth of July. Over 10 years, seven proper albums and countless concerts, they’ve proven…

If you have any idea what the Ticket’s Mike Rhyner is talking about when he waxes nostalgic about Dallas bands of the ’60s and ’70s, then you’re probably close to qualifying for a senior discount at IHOP. However, you probably also saw some great music in your day, frequenting long-forgotten…

Fogy that I am, the first time I heard of the Cheetah Girls was this summer from my 12-year-old cousin, who in August began planning her Halloween costume as one of the girl stars. The only problem was that her fourth “best friend” felt left out, since there are only…

As of this writing, the lowly Charlotte Bobcats are sitting near the bottom of the NBA’s Eastern Conference standings, so it’s unlikely they’ll put up much of a fight when they face the Mavericks this Tuesday at the American Airlines Center (the last time they faced the Mavs, Dirk Nowitzki…

Every Santa’s been there. One minute you’re dropping off a little gift, just trying to do your Santa business, and the next you realize—”Whoops! Slipped down the wrong chimney.” The first tip-off is usually a startled woman screaming at you. “It’s slippery out,” you say, trying to calm her down…

For many children, Santa Claus’ impending arrival is first signaled by his appearance at the end of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. But when I was a kid, you didn’t even think about Santa coming until Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band said so, usually by launching into a…

The holidays are great, but if Santa Claus or the Ghost of Christmas Past showed up in my house, I would freak the *%&# out. Judging by the number of charming holiday tales in which people are visited in the night by strange entities, this is a fairly common occurrence…

Many artists have found inspiration in the world of animals; we humans are a part of it, after all, descended from the ape so that we might learn to paint them in oils and pastels. However, finding “stimulation in the Kingdom Animalia” sounds like something different altogether (was Catherine the…

Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis are Texas country’s favorite couple, our very own modern George and Tammy minus most of the drama and substance abuse (save a very public addiction to the allergy drug Claritin). After taking a break from recording to make babies, both songwriters are back this year,…

Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis are Texas country’s favorite couple, our very own modern George and Tammy minus most of the drama and substance abuse (save a very public addiction to the allergy drug Claritin). After taking a break from recording to make babies, both songwriters are back this year,…

The last time I was at the Conduit Gallery, I saw Wayne Coyne walking around in a giant plastic bubble. Now that’s what I call art. Granted, artists C. Meng, Matthew Bourbon and Linda Pace probably aren’t gonna show up at their Conduit opening with inflatables and a lady that…

All right, I admit it. If Patrick Swayze shows up in a movie on cable, I will watch it. Dirty Dancing, Road House, Three Wishes, Black Dog—seen it, seen it, seen it, seen it. How can someone be so bad and yet so good? Chalk it up to Swayze magic…

This year I am participating in not one, not two, but three fantasy basketball leagues. It’s been a rocky road thus far—damn you, Boris Diaw—but with Dirk Nowitzki to see me through, I know I’m up for the challenge. Wednesday night presents a game filled with fantasy implications for my…

Slam poetry has never really lived up to its billing for me; there’s nothing particularly “slammin'” about it in my eyes. But get a couple people together to actually slam dance while reciting Dylan Thomas (or even better, Mattie J. T. Stepanek), and you might win me over. If you’re…

I’ve always thought that toy trains were pretty cool, especially considering the fact that Neil Young is into them. There’s just something undeniably charming, unbelievably nerdy and quintessentially American about building a tiny little fantasy town to drive your tiny little fantasy train around in. If Lionel is looking for…

Comedian Steve Byrne must have a lot of fun filling out census forms. Having sprung forth from the union of an Irish father and a Korean mother, he describes himself as a “CaucAsian,” meaning his brand of humor must lie somewhere in the comedy gulf between Margaret Cho and Colin…

Last year I attended the Shrine Circus for the first time, borrowing my favorite 4-year-old for an afternoon of elephants, clowns and old men in funny hats. It was a lot like one of those Mastercard commercials: One stick of cotton candy: $6. Another stick of cotton candy to replace…