Here Are Some Odd Tweets From Texas Republicans

Texas is no stranger to crazy. We’re home to a former congressman who once asked whether we could alter the orbits of Earth and the moon to combat climate change; a U.S. senator who has picked fights with Big Bird and horror novelists; and another Republican representative — a former White House doctor, mind you — who swore to never eat a “whole plate of dog penis” … again.

So, yeah. It takes a whole lot of cuckoo to stand out here.

Over the past several days on X (formerly Twitter), Lone Star GOP politicians have shared some colorful thoughts on topics ranging from cancel culture to the Texas Rangers. These off-the-wall musings have left us wondering whether mercury is in retrograde (it’s not) or whether maybe, just maybe, we’re the ones slowly going insane.

With apologies in advance for any headaches that you incur, here are some of the finest selections of X posts over the past week or so.

Former State Sen. Don Huffines

This former GOP gubernatorial contender from a family of successful car salesmen sure doesn’t shy away from speaking his mind. In recent X posts, former state Sen. Don Huffines shared his theory on the origins of COVID-19 (“The Wuhan virus is government-made”) and aired a head-scratching claim regarding religion’s role in education.

Huffines, a vocal proponent of school vouchers, wrote on Friday: “Secularism and atheism are clearly religious beliefs. Government schools are religious schools, too.”

He also painted Democrats with a broader-than-a-barn brush.

“Leftists (ALL Democrats) HATE Christianity, HATE the history & culture of the USA, HATE free speech, HATE successful people, HATE freedom, HATE low taxes, HATE oil & gas, HATE personal liberty, HATE closed borders, HATE all guns, HATE the unborn,” Huffines wrote in an Oct. 23 post. “Why do they LOVE government schools??”

Leftists (ALL Democrats)

HATE Christianity
HATE the history & culture of the USA
HATE free speech
HATE successful people
HATE freedom
HATE low taxes
HATE oil & gas
HATE personal liberty
HATE closed borders
HATE all guns
HATE the unborn

Why do they LOVE government schools??

— Don Huffines (@DonHuffines) October 23, 2023

U.S. Rep. Mike Johnson

The newly elected speaker of the U.S. House, Mike Johnson, is a Republican from Louisiana. But he spent time in North Texas as a lawyer before starting his congressional career.

Speaking in front of Congress last week following his political ascension, Johnson gave thanks to his wife, who was not in attendance. A rather intriguing clip surfaced on X this week.

“She’s spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord,” he said. “And, um, she’s a little worn out.”

Johnson posted an interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity to X, during which he explained the main guiding principles informing his decisions.

“Someone asked me today in the media, they said, ‘People are curious, what does Mike Johnson think about any issue under the sun?’” he told Hannity. “I said, ‘Well, go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it. That’s my worldview.”

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz pissed off Astros fans last week when he decided to attend Game 7 against the Texas Rangers. The Houston team didn’t perform well during the Cruz-attended games, so social media users pleaded with him to stay home. Rolling Stone then wrote about it.

Cruz wasn’t pleased with this.

“Lying hacks @RollingStone: For 7 years, Catherine & I have attended nearly EVERY Astros home playoff game. If they’re going to blame me for our recent home losses, pls also credit us for TWO World Series Championships & SEVEN consecutive ALCS’s—we were there cheering Stros on!” he wrote in a tweet.

But soon after making that post, the Rangers defeated the 'Stros and secured a spot in the World Series.

With egg now all over his face, Cruz then tried to congratulate the Rangers. But he mixed up the geography in the post, saying that “Dallas” won the series, prompting folks — including Mayor Eric Johnson, a newly minted Republican — to remind him that the team is called the Texas Rangers, and that its hometown is Arlington, not Big D.

.@SenTedCruz, the Texas Rangers belong to Arlington. You know, like the NY Giants and NY Jets belong to East Rutherford, NJ and not New York City. 🤭 https://t.co/aHrZavOrac

— Mayor Eric L. Johnson (@Johnson4Dallas) October 25, 2023

State Rep. Briscoe Cain

The Texas GOP is fracturing amid an ongoing civil war and has been quite busy passing anti-immigrant legislation. But aside from all the turmoil taking place in the state Legislature, one ultraconservative representative hasn’t forgotten his Halloween spirit.

State Rep. Briscoe Cain, a Deer Park Republican, posted a photo of two pumpkins to X on Oct. 21. One is carved with the word “TAXE$,” and the other is made to look like a cat’s rear-end, complete with an NSFW-looking butthole.

“Scariest pumpkins ever,” Cain wrote.

Scariest pumpkins ever. pic.twitter.com/fzMfVXNzoY

— Briscoe Cain (@BriscoeCain) October 22, 2023

U.S. Rep. Ronny Jackson

Ronny Jackson, the former White House physician-turned-Texas-GOP-congressman, posted a video to X recently, claiming to have spotted a cryptid. The clip shows U.S. Sen. Jon Tester, a Montana Democrat, scaling down some steps in the U.S. Capitol building, according to the entertainment news website 2paragraphs.

Tester, by the way, lost three of his digits when he was 9 during a meat-grinding accident.

“BIGFOOT SIGHTING IN THE SENATE OFFICE BUILDING! Who would’ve thought this fat, two fingered buffoon could move so fast!? Slow down and enjoy the Senate Jon, because very soon you will be OUT!!” Jackson wrote.

BIGFOOT SIGHTING IN THE SENATE OFFICE BUILDING! Who would’ve thought this fat, two fingered buffoon could move so fast!? Slow down and enjoy the Senate Jon, because very soon you will be OUT!!
pic.twitter.com/3xCDyWC7G0

— Ronny Jackson (@RonnyJacksonTX) October 19, 2023

U.S. Rep. Chip Roy

Another flamboyantly conservative congressman, U.S. Rep. Chip Roy, has some unique ideas about issues like immigration and climate change.

In an X post last week, he wrote that “complete chaos” is encompassing the southern border, adding: “Here is more evidence we are no closer to ending this man-made crisis after almost three years.”

Interesting choice of words there. Although Roy apparently views immigration as a “man-made” problem, he’s previously claimed that he doesn’t know whether human activity can be tied to climate change, a phenomenon he’s said is surrounded by “hysteria.”

Roy also once told the San Antonio Express-News that there’s a ton of “misinformation out there about the extent of man’s impact on temperatures on the Earth.”

Attorney General Ken Paxton

It’s time for the AG’s close-up.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton recently posed next to three of the leading ladies of the MAGAsphere. In one photo that he posted to X, he smiles at the camera with comedienne Roseanne Barr, whose eponymous sitcom reboot was canceled in 2018 after she posted a racist tweet.

“Cancel culture can never cancel this amazing woman. So good to see you tonight,” Paxton wrote.

Cancel culture can never cancel this amazing woman. So good to see you tonight @therealroseanne pic.twitter.com/bAF65F7nTG

— Attorney General Ken Paxton (@KenPaxtonTX) October 27, 2023

The AG also grinned in a photo with two prominent election deniers: former Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake and U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican.

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Ken Paxton at Mar-a-Lago last night. pic.twitter.com/xoGUTSO6pL

— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) October 27, 2023