Primus is a band we discovered pretty early on in life and whose sharp and innovative playing we've only grown to respect more and more as we've aged.
Unfortunately, though, our first exposure to the group was to their biggest single of the '90s: "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver." Even more unfortunate? We were in that awkward, hormonal tween phase when we first heard it, which mostly meant that the song's blatant references to the female anatomy caused us both endless delight and giggles. Oh, to be 11 forever...
Anyway, since the group is playing the Palladium Ballroom tonight, we thought we'd put together a list of some of our favorite moments of musical double-entendre. Check it out after the jump.
Primus - "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver"
Technically, a song with this much beaver should be much grosser. But
we're more confused as to what the beaver did to Rex's kiwis, and what
exactly he was doing with that baboon.
AC/DC - "Big Balls"
Double entendre works best when both angles are equally plausible.
Sure, there's that one line about ballrooms in the beginning of this one,
but, since we were 11 when we first heard it, it's been all about
testicles for us.
Starland Vocal Band - "Afternoon Delight"
If the song didn't have some other possible subtext, we couldn't imagine
it ever getting enough radio play to hit No. 1 on the Billboard
Hot 100. And yet it did. Supposedly, this song's about about a spicy item on a
restaurant menu. But we've somehow never meet a single person who buys this
explanation.
April Wine - "If You See Kay"
Hard to believe we heard this more than once before realizing they
were spelling a dirty word in there. Almost as hard to believe is the
fact that we've heard this song more than once, period.
Peter Gabriel - "Sledgehammer"
OK, so this one is more innuendo than entendre (it's a fine line) we
still give Gabriel props for referring to lady bits as a "fruitcage."
Peter, Paul, & Mary - "Puff the Magic Dragon"
See? Not all innuendo has to be sexual.
Lil Wayne - "Lollipop"
This one's pretty dirty to begin with, but we still like to ramp it up a
notch in our own minds by pretending he's saying "I let her lick
the rapper" instead of "wrapper."
Led Zeppelin - "The Lemon Song"
Wait, so they were eating fruit? In bed?
Van Halen - "Ice Cream Man"
"Now summertime's here, babe / need something to keep you cool /
Better look out now, though / Dave's got something for you. In his pants. Always in his pants.
Ted Nugent - "Cat Scratch Fever"
The fact that this is one of the greatest songs ever about both cats
and venereal diseases makes it a textbook example of double entendre.
Chuck Berry - "My Ding-a-Ling"
Even funnier than a song so blatantly about penises? Watching old
videos of Berry inciting huge crowds of women to sing along with him
about penises.
Aerosmith - "Big Ten Inch Record"
This was admittedly probably pretty clever at one point, but as
there are fewer and fewer people who know about ten-inch records, it
means more and more of us are onto you, Mr. Tyler.
Billy Squier - "The Stroke"
Come on, Billy. First you sing lines about putting your right hand
out and giving a firm handshake, and then you have the gall to tell us
it's about how the record industry "strokes" musicians' egos? At least
give us a little bit of credit and try to tell us "The Stroke" is the name
of a new dance step you invented.
Wang Chung - "Everybody Have Fun Tonight"
Does it really count as entendre if nobody is really sure what it means?
The Who - "Squeeze Box"
It's about boobs. No. it's about accordions. No, it's about vaginas. Either way, ultimate confusion is typically the best indicator of
great entendre.
Lit - "Miserable"
It might be a tad bit cheap, but some well-placed pauses give this song one of the greatest double entendre choruses of all.
Kelis - "Milkshake"
Ah, the old "can I get some fries with that shake?" line of humor. Classic.
