Gentlemen. Let's get really real for a moment, shall we? It's very unlikely that a woman on Craigslist wants to have sex with you. Or rather, it's very unlikely that a woman on Craigslist wants to have sex with you for free. And when two women from Craigslist are proposing sexual activity -- together, at the same time, with you, for free -- you've reached improbability levels so advanced, chances so infinitesimal, that you should stop and ask yourself a couple of questions. The first one being: is something unbelievably sketchy about to go down here?
Such is the lesson learned by one Dallas man, who filed a police report this morning concerning two women he met a couple of days ago on Craigslist (we're not linking to it, because the links to the police reports always get messed up, and we're withholding his name out of simple pity).
The man's new friends went by Bo and Ashley. He didn't know their last names, because it was not that sort of party. He would recall to the cops later that they were both black, wearing jeans, and had lots of tattoos on their arms and backs.
The trio decided to meet for a drink very late last night at a bar on McKinney Avenue. Things must have gone well, because after a few drinks they proceeded back to the man's house around 3:45 a.m.
At that point, Bo became very sick, the man told the police. He became very preoccupied with "consoling and aiding" her, he added, to the point where he lost track of Ashley, his other date. Both women left very quickly after Bo complained of being sick, speeding off in a Grey Dodge Challenger or Charger. It was at that point that the man noticed his watch was gone.
It was a very nice watch, he told police, a black and silver TAG brand-timepiece that he valued at $3,000. He surmised that Ashley must have slipped into his dresser drawer while he was in the midst of consoling her friend. The man called the cops, then resumed texting Ashley, as he'd been doing for some time. She told him, the police report states, "that she did not take any property."
Police have made no arrests. And Craigslist Casual Encounters has probably lost one loyal customer.
